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    #31
    Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
    sigpic

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      #32
      Re: Pagan Humor

      I feel this could go here:

      my etsy store
      My blog


      "...leave me curled up in my ball,
      surrounded by plush, downy things,
      ill prepared, but willing,
      to descend."

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        #33
        Re: Pagan Humor

        I'm looking for this video. I've never heard of it until this blog post: http://scott-lynch.livejournal.com/269876.html

        I found it, but it seems where I thought it started wasn't where it started.

        Last edited by Caelia; 19 Mar 2012, 23:07. Reason: found it!
        my etsy store
        My blog


        "...leave me curled up in my ball,
        surrounded by plush, downy things,
        ill prepared, but willing,
        to descend."

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          #34
          Re: Pagan Humor

          "We called it modern egypt!"
          "Sometimes bad things happen, and theres nothing you can do about it, so why worry?" ~ Timon

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            #35
            Re: Pagan Humor

            Some of you might be aware that one of my deities of reverence (I saw someone use that phrase recently,and I liked it) is Sedna, who is the Inuit goddess off the sea and the mother of marine mammals. While I was looking on youtube for retellings of her myth for the kids, I stumbled upon something that made me groan and laugh at the same time:




            (for a more sober version, try here)
            Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
            sigpic

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              #36
              Re: Pagan Humor





              sigpic
              Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

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                #37
                Re: Pagan Humor

                "My cat ate your Fish"

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                  #38
                  Re: Pagan Humor

                  WHY M&M'S ARE WICCAN:
                  * MM = Merry Meet*
                  Round shape for wheel of the year, cycle of seasons*
                  Skins are different colors, but the inside is the same chocolate, because we are all related.*
                  Associations with the colors: Red = South, Green = West, Dark Brown = North, Yellow = East, Orange = For the Solar God, Light Brown = For the Earth Mother (Copper Woman)
                  * Rotate the M & M: M = 13th letter of alphabet, and there are 13 witches in a coven
                  3 = Triple Goddess, three phases of moon W = Witchcraft, Wiccan E = Enlightenment, Enchantment of chocolate*
                  "Melt in your mouth, not in your hand"--God/dess's love must be experienced directly to appreciate. Also, God/dess will take care of you.*
                  Sweetness to remind us of how sweet the love of the God and Goddess is!

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                    #39
                    Re: Pagan Humor

                    Now this made me chuckle. Of course I immediately recognise the Origins of this, and note the humour of alterations made! I understand the frustration also of the references made to ERROR pages, and the like; it reminds me of trying to edit my website and getting "sorry you just screwed up come back later and screw up again" type messages, and the low growling which emanated from me, the steam escaping my ears and the desire to throw my computer system out of the nearest window, or take a pick axe to it just to feel some form of relief and satisfaction at that time, as I tried desperately to rectify the issue, with often no avail and ending up having to spend minutes wasted on a 24 so-called helpline to the Site hosts, who were of seemingly some other planetary origin and passing me from pillar to post as I frantically attempted to explain and ask for assistance.

                    Yes, we have all been there, in some manner or other. Still, I remember the profane language and the aggitation of things thanks to those blessed ERROR pages!

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                      #40
                      Re: Pagan Humor

                      Heard one night on Between the Worlds Radio, WIKA...
                      Bob: For those of you who have just joined us, this has been one hell of a game! The Salem Witches, led by the ferocious play of Sven Gahrinnson, a huge Asatru defensive end, have taken a 21-14 lead over the Bethany Baptists.
                      Sam: That's right, Bob. Sven's a force, but Bethany's quarterback Paul Damascus has been throwing passes with all the zeal of an evangelist passing out tracts on Judgement Day. Leading the Baptists' Fire and Brimstone offense, Damascus has been burning the Witches' secondary all evening.
                      Bob: Sam, now that was uncalled for...
                      Sam: Hey, if the Witches hadn't put a spell on the referees they wouldn't even be in this game!
                      Bob: And if the Baptists hadn't soaked the field with holy water, the Witches would still be able to use their running game, not to mention the third degree burns that Salem's tight end received.
                      Sam:Bob: Don't say it!
                      Sam: But the Bible says...
                      Bob: SAM! Let's return to the action on the field.
                      Sam: [mumbling] Well it does...
                      Bob: Salem's just about to kick off with 2:35 left in the fourth quarter. JohnPaul is on his own five yard line to receive for the Baptists. Here's the kick... It's a beauty! Just look at the hang time!
                      Sam: I'd look for a penalty on that kick. Illegal summoning of air elementals, I would think.
                      Bob: JohnPaul takes the kick... he's on the ten... the fifteen... WOW! WHAT A HIT!! Sven just leveled JohnPaul! I'm amazed Bethany's return man could even hold on to the ball. Uh oh... JohnPaul's not moving. The trainers are coming out to the field.
                      Sam: [chanting gleefully] Threefold law! Threefold law! Sven's going to pay! He meant to hit him hard.
                      Bob: Sam, this is football! You're supposed to hit them hard. Besides, Sven's not Wiccan, he's Asatru!
                      Sam: [mumbling] Well, they're all going to burn in hell. They aren't Christian, after all. The Bible says --
                      Bob: [cutting off Sam] It looks like JohnPaul's going to be okay. He may not know what time zone he's in after that hit, but at least he's on his feet. The Witches' defense takes the field. Sven holds down the left side while Gavin Lord leads Salem's Wild Hunt defense. Listen to them howl! The Witches' fans are going wild, the pep band is leading a spiral dance while the cheerleaders are drawing down the moon. I can't imagine how Bethany can even hear the count over all this noise! Here's the snap. Damascus drops back. Here comes Sven! Damascus is scrambling, chased by the Wild Hunt. He has nowhere to run, not with the Hunt on his heels. Damascus throws the ball away, stopping the clock with 2:08 left to play.
                      Sam: There's a flag on the play. I'll bet it's against the Witches
                      Bob: My guess is holding on the offense, Sam.
                      Sam: Yeah, right. You're just saying that 'cause you don't want the Baptists to win.
                      Bob: No, I'm saying that because one of Bethany's offensive linemen is still holding someone's kilt!
                      Sam: They should call that a foul. After all, the Bible says--
                      Bob: [cutting Sam off again] The refs have marked off the penalty and the players are lining up again. Damascus is calling the signals. Here's the snap. He drops back and throws. It's caught by Moses at the 30 and he's brought down immediately. That's going to bring up the two minute warning.
                      Sam: Let's break for a word from our sponsor, New Jerusalem Witnessing Tracts.
                      Bob: Let's not. We're back! The word on JohnPaul's injury is either a slight concussion or demon possession. The team is calling in a specialist from the Vatican to be sure. It seems that Sven hit him hard enough that the Bethany return man thinks he's in a past life. He keeps saying, I was really just kidding. I like lions. Really. Good kitty! There's 1:58 left on the game clock and from the look of things on the field, I think that Bethany's starting to panic.
                      Sam: Why do you say that?
                      Bob: Because it looks like they're going for the Hail Mary play.
                      Sam: And why do you say that?
                      Bob: Just listen to the Baptists' fans.
                      Fans: Hail Mary, Mother of God... Hail Mary, Mother of God...
                      Bob: Here's the snap. Damascus drops back... he's under pressure... Damascus scrambles to the right, looking for an open receiver... he reverses the field, running to the left... Sven is right on his heals... He throws... Touchdown!! What an immaculate reception! Touchdown Bethany!
                      Sam: Yes! Yes! YES!!!
                      Bob: Let's be a little objective here...
                      Sam: Time to make those sinners pay!
                      Bob: Bethany's going for the two point conversion. The Wild Hunt is growling, you can hear it even over the roar of the crowd. This could be the game right here, folks. The Baptists are pulling out all the stops. I think that's even the Ark of the Covenant that they're parading over there. Here's the snap... It's a quarterback sneak! Damascus dives into the heart of the Wild Hunt! Look at that pile! Damascus is somewhere at the bottom. It's going to be a moment before they sort this one out, folks. One of the Baptists is in Sven's face. Uh oh... I think he's witnessing to the Asatru. Yep! There's the flag! That'll be unsportsmanlike conduct on Bethany. Fifteen yards off the kick off. It looks like the Baptists have made the conversion! Bethany leads 22 to 21.
                      Sam: That's not the only thing they converted. It looks like Sven is headed back to Bethany's sideline.
                      Bob: No! Sven! You're a warrior! Come back! Come back!
                      Sam: Oh... is da widdle asatwoo a kwistjun now?
                      Bob: [ignoring Sam] Fourth quarter... 1:22 left on the clock. Bethany sends a deep booming kick into Salem's end zone. Wait... who is that returning the kick? Long hair... curves... It's Artemis! Those Bethany defenders don't know who they have coming at them!
                      Sam: If she turns anyone into a stag and they don't call a penalty, I'll protest!
                      Bob:Sam: Where did all of Bethany's players go? Where are their fans?
                      Bob: Looks like its the Rapture... Artemis is left with a field empty of defenders... She's at the fifty... the forty... the twenty...Touchdown!! Salem's ahead by five with Bethany nowhere in sight!
                      Sam: Judgement Day... It can't be Judgement Day...
                      Bob: Looks like the refs are talking this one over. The clock is stopped with fifty-eight seconds left to play. The Bethany Baptists are nowhere in sight and the Salem Witches lead 27 - 22. Here's the official ruling...That's game! The Bethany Baptists forfeit the game and the Salem Witches win, 27 - 22!
                      Sam: [still bemoaning his fate] Judgement Day... It was Judgement Day and no one came to get me! It can't be Judgement Day! Why? Why, Bob? Why?
                      Bob: Don't know, Sam. It's your system of belief, not mine. You're welcome to hang out with us Pagans.
                      Sam: Dear GOD! It was Judgement Day and they sent me to Hell! This is Hell, isn't it Bob?
                      Bob: [thinking of being the only Pagan that Sam knows] Only for me, Sam. Only for me.

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                        #41
                        Re: Pagan Humor

                        How many mortal men does it take to please a Goddess.


                        Trick Question, Goddess is autoerotic, none can please her but Goddess.

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                          #42
                          Re: Pagan Humor

                          How many Feri does it take to cause a schism?

                          Just one who happened to write a book with minutiae that doesn't reveal much of anything.

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                            #43
                            Re: Pagan Humor

                            The Pagan Periodic Table:

                            argon.jpg


                            HAIL, spirits of Carbon! Building Block of Life! Giver of Energy! Mother of Diamond.... Lend us your bonding capacity and your power to form complex compounds! (rings bell 6 times)
                            Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
                            sigpic

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                              #44
                              Re: Pagan Humor

                              lol that's awesome
                              �Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.�
                              ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
                              Sneak Attack
                              Avatar picture by the wonderful and talented TJSGrimm.

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                                #45
                                Re: Pagan Humor

                                Listen and hear me oh you components of the great secret ingredients of the marvel of Pizza. May the spirits sing the song of mozzarella,and the olives dance and the tasty peperoni gather upon the holy crust,and with this act make a pure delight of aromas and bring us the sweet and tasty tomatoes tears to water the savory food of our Gods.
                                MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

                                all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
                                NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
                                don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




                                sigpic

                                my new page here,let me know what you think.


                                nothing but the shadow of what was

                                witchvox
                                http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

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