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Thread: How to REALLY train up a child

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    The Gaze of the Abyss B. de Corbin's Avatar
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    How to REALLY train up a child

    Parenting advice that doesn't require PVC pipes - give it here!
    Those who have suffered understand suffering and therefore extend their hand.

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    Grey Warden Rowanwood's Avatar
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    Re: How to REALLY train up a child

    I treat my kid like a drunk person...you know, someone who deserves respect and love, but doesn't always make the best decisions on their own.



    (It's more complicated than that, of course, but I love putting it like that.)

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    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: How to REALLY train up a child

    My goal is to raise future adults. Like, the one's I wouldn't mind as neghbors, not the ones that end up in jail for holding up a 7-11. As such, I try not to lie about things they will one day need factual information on without ripping away the beautiful rose-colored glasses of childhood.
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

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    Dragon Lady Yorin's Avatar
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    Re: How to REALLY train up a child

    I'm not a mom yet, but one tip I remember my mom telling my pregnant cousins was instead of giving them fancy teething stuff, give them larger peeled carrots to chew on. That way they had something to chew on, and were getting healthy nutrients at the same time.
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    Re: How to REALLY train up a child

    I come from a community, which is wonderful when you have kids. They learn how to be kind and help out with each other and the community. They also don't seem to have as much drama as those children that are raised alone, maybe because it isn't all about them. I think the greatest gift having a community gives my kids is freedom. Kids can run around and be kids together without all the fear that seems to follow single kids.

    From my perspective, the main thing I believe in is to keep them safe without taking life's excitement away from them. That's the balancing act that we all mess up with from time to time.

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    Grey Warden Rowanwood's Avatar
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    Re: How to REALLY train up a child

    Quote Originally Posted by Yorin View Post
    I'm not a mom yet, but one tip I remember my mom telling my pregnant cousins was instead of giving them fancy teething stuff, give them larger peeled carrots to chew on. That way they had something to chew on, and were getting healthy nutrients at the same time.
    When you do have kids...don't do this unless you enjoy the Heimlich maneuver. Carrots break. Teething babies can't really chew.

    My kid choked on a little chunk of apple once. I don't wish that freak out on anyone.

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    Cat Freak Gleb's Avatar
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    Re: How to REALLY train up a child

    From my own experience, parents shouldn't tell their children something like "Don't play with those kids!" before even getting to know them.
    It's just not right.
    "Fair means that everybody gets what they need. And the only way to get that is to make it happen yourself."



    Since I adore cats, I might write something strange or unusual in my comment.Cats are awesome!!! ^_^

  8. #8
    The Gaze of the Abyss B. de Corbin's Avatar
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    Re: How to REALLY train up a child

    Quote Originally Posted by Rowanwood View Post
    When you do have kids...don't do this unless you enjoy the Heimlich maneuver. Carrots break. Teething babies can't really chew.

    My kid choked on a little chunk of apple once. I don't wish that freak out on anyone.
    We gave them dill pickles... Soft enough, and crunchy/chewy/cold.

    - - - Updated - - -

    It isn't enough to love your kids, you have to also like them.

    In fact, if you like them, love may not even be necessary (but loving will be very, very easy).

    When people love others, they make all kinds of excuses for hurting them, but, when they LIKE somebody, they enjoy time with them, have common interests, and treat them with respect.
    Those who have suffered understand suffering and therefore extend their hand.

    I can't do everything, but I can do something.

  9. #9
    sea witch thalassa's Avatar
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    Re: How to REALLY train up a child

    Let your child get hurt (not run over by a car or electrocuted, just a boo boo or ten). Let them be cold. Let them feel pain. Let them lose. Let them be angry. Let them feel hunger and thirst. Let their feelings get hurt.

    Teach them to deal with these conditions. Teach them to name them, to cope with them, to fix time or work through with them. But don't let them go out into the world without having them as experiences. Because fixing everything so they never have unpleasantness is bad parenting.
    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible

  10. #10
    Nihilistic Goddess Medusa's Avatar
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    Re: How to REALLY train up a child

    If I had a kid I would give them candy to shut up. I would give them Nyquil. I would give them whiskey. I would give them Zanax. And probably opium.

    Which is why I haz no kids.
    Satan is my spirit animal

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