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    My past and reasons being here.

    The title may be a little off topic I had wanted to tell a few people but I think it may be best to discuss it here openly. I hesitated of talking about it openly because I was afraid my brother would find out. And I'm still afraid. But it might be best. I am tired of living in constant fear over my brother. I'm saying no more.

    The main reason I came on this site was to receive some sort of spiritual help. It involved my brother and his problems. His practice in magic. I want to finally tell everyone the main reason why I hesitated. This is NOT made up. This is true I am member on this site for a reason. I've been a member of this site for a while but I was so held back in fear, I refrained from speaking about it. Please, I implore you to read all of this. I know it's long, but it IS important.

    I think before I tell the reasons why it's best that I explain a little backstory before going into it. Over 10 years ago, my brother obtained a book of magic. I am not entirely sure where he got it whether it was from a library or someone else but he never told me. The only way I found out was through my father. My father has passed away not so long ago, and I miss him dearly. One of the last things he told me was something about my brother. I was talking to my dad about my brother since my brother had a host of problems, with drugs, the law ect. in the past and my dad speculated that maybe his brain had been corrupted from what he read in that book. I expressed disbelief as I said that mere words on text and speaking a language that hasn't been spoken for thousands of years wouldn't effect his mind or make magic by doing spells or rituals. My dad told me that words are power and one shouldn't simply judge things as they appear. He explained my brother obtained the book. My brother did rituals but the more he did it, the more it hurt him. The magic he was using caused him to eventually hear voices, see things, and have nightmares. My brother talked about my dad about this and my dad realized the seriousness of the situation. My brother and my dad went onto barren land in the middle of nowhere and buried the book after shortly doing a small ritual in an attempt to purify my brother, I suppose. Why my brother couldn't simply return the book or burn it or throw it away, I don't know, but for whatever reason he had to do this. My dad never practiced magic, at least I don't think he did, but he believed it to probably be real due to the fact that my brother was going through hell my reading this book. I wasn't sure if the book was corrupt and had rituals that messed up his mind the more he did it, or he improperly performed a ritual and it backfired. Whatever the case, he stopped doing magic and kept this secret to himself as well as my dad and mom.

    It was only a year and a half ago that my brother about my magic. He told me that he always had in an interest in the occult, myths, ect, but he never admitted to me that he practiced magic until then. He is always a very secretive person, and hardly talks about his past. He doesn't talk about it because he feels no one can help him or that he'll appear to be a freak in everyone's eyes, but I also think he had done things that aren't considered ethical. Not evil, but untheical and he has said that he's done things he's never been proud of. He explained magic to be because he was "tired of being moral" and wanted to have some fun for a change. He had recently broke up with his ex. But he introduced something to me. It was a certain liquid that he claimed to enable him to get any woman he wanted." He told me that this liquid was made from an apple and one had to do a certain ritual before applying this liquid. He used the liquid as a cologne and put it on his shoulders, neck ect, and it sort of acts like an aphrodisiac but more potent. He said he used this and girls from a super market were openly flirting with him when he applied it. Even his ex who was talking to him online and was disgusted with him previously, was almost lusting after him. He said, if one tricked the woman to drink the liquid the woman would lust after them even more and stay with them for some time. I asked how it was possible. How is it possible that he's doing this. He said he didn't care how it works. All he cared about was that this ritual worked. He wanted to introduce me to magic because I was considered a good friend to him and he only wanted to share this with me. However, I knew better.

    I knew full well that even though we were friends and we do get along for the most part, he has betrayed me and cheated me sometimes. He knew I was a virgin as well. He never explained what religious path he followed, if he followed on at all but he said worshipping certain deities was necessary but again he was vague. Since he has never been the most trustworthy, I concluded he was trying to trick me somehow. To be brought into his fold. I am a virgin but he knew I wanted a woman and I was infatuated with a certain woman at the time. He also told me that in order to do this ritual, one had to go into the woods, take an apple, and speak certain Sumerian words. He said once I did, I would start seeing frightening images, but told me never to run away from them. Again he never fully explained what these images were or why I had to stay still. He told me he followed "The Path of Fear" and I have no idea what he meant by that. However he is a frightening figure when he is angry. He's been angry before and I have seen him instill fear in people that antagonized him. He has been manipulative in the past so it makes me think he's used magic to make people afraid of him. He told me I would be looked upon as sort of a freak, I would see things no one else could see and hear things no one else could do, and promised me power over anyone but I refused. I stated that trying to do magic and uses forces I don't fully comprehend isn't exactly wise. I admit I have always been over cautious but my brother is impulsive, willing to try things like this without even considering how it works, or what the repercussions or consequences are if someone abuses it. I also explained to him that it wasn't exactly ethical to do this, but I also said, I wanted to find a woman myself and not resort to magic to help me do something like that. He said he understood my decision and didn't want to rush me into it and said whenever I was ready, I was to talk to him. I asked him why he was being so vague about his path and his descriptions and aftermath of spells and description of rituals. He said I simply "wasn't ready to learn" and that once I understood his path, he would explain everything. But I knew this magic he used was real, but I will protect myself.

    I once hung out with him in a party where he was with his ex who wasn't his ex anymore. We hung out, had a good time and so forth but things turned weird and almost frightening after the party. After it was over, me his girlfriend, him and his friend were there. My brother told me he applied the ritual liquid on him and that he was going to see how well it worked on his girl. He still insisted on me trying it, but I refused. I think he was drunk or maybe he was just angry, but he started being more insistent on it, saying I was just "scared to do something new" and that he sensed my fear. I told him I wasn't going to be stupid and uses forces I don't fully comprehend and not consider the consequences. He knew my decision and warned me to keep it secret and warned me not to tell anyone he was a sorcerer. I told him it wouldn't matter and they wouldn't believe me anyway. I went to sleep, but he told me he laid with his girlfriend. Even then I could sense there was a little remorse in him doing it and it made me think that maybe it wasn't right, but even then, he still continued using his magic.

    Over a period of time, I noticed he had symbols around his room when I was cleaning it when he was gone for a little while. He had sigils of certain beings and demons like Asmodeus, Pazuzu, Azazel and so forth. He had a book called the "Necromantic Ritual Book" but I never read it. He even had a prayer note written on paper, asking for Asmodeus to give him a woman. I am not sure if he worships them or not, but he also mentioned paying homage to Inanna and other Sumerian deities. He had a note online that he left. He was sending an e-mail to some friend of his and it involved bizarre behavior. We had a goat farm before and mentioned to his friend that some of the goats might die of worms because some of our goats were infected, and if they fell down dead, he would decapitate the dead goats head, boil the flesh off and give the skull to his friend as a gift. Why I don't know, but he also said at the end of the e-mail, "May the blessings of Marduk be upon you" which implies he worships Marduk as well as Asmoedus the demon and others or he could just be using their powers for his own benefit. I am still not entirely sure. He even had a pentagram on his door which looked like it was made of blood! I thought it was blood at first but figured out that there was a red paintbrush and a paper tray with red paint so it has to be paint. Even so, it's still weird.

    I am concerned with my brother. Something with him is tainted and corrupt. I don't know if this kind of magic he's using as messed up his mind, or he's possessed or not. He has taken medication before but I'm still not sure if he does or not. His mind I don't think, is all there. I don't think he's evil, just messed up and confused. I've known him all my life and I still don't know who he really is. I didn't want to post this, but I just need some help in protecting myself. I thought if I posted it on here, he would curse me or something. I don't know if he is going to or not, but he will, so be it, but I will not give up and I certainly will not live in fear all my life over my brother. I am tired of it. All I ask is some help. Please, I ask of advice, certain spells, healing. It would be most appreciated if you pray. Prayers would help. Please pray to your gods and goddesses. All I ask is your help.
    Last edited by Alienist; 05 Feb 2014 at 07:24.

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    Grey Warden Rowanwood's Avatar
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    Re: My past and reasons being here.

    I can't help you with spells.

    I understand this is hard, and clearly you've gotten quite wrapped up in this, but your brother is a manipulator and potentially very ill. Magic can't do this. Mental illness and abusive behavior can. This sounds much like the symptoms of several different mental illnesses, none of which I am qualified to diagnose.

    Please seek professional help.

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    Re: My past and reasons being here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rowanwood View Post
    I can't help you with spells.

    I understand this is hard, and clearly you've gotten quite wrapped up in this, but your brother is a manipulator and potentially very ill. Magic can't do this. Mental illness and abusive behavior can. This sounds much like the symptoms of several different mental illnesses, none of which I am qualified to diagnose.

    Please seek professional help.
    I know he's always been ill. Even he's admitted it in the past, but only because he can do things others can't do and in turn, people look him as "crazy" I don't think he's just another mentally ill person. I think he can be dangerous and his rituals, however he does it, does effect people. Professional help I don't think is the only answer. He needs to face his problems and waned to be helped. I know this because he has briefly been into hospitals.

    I don't think people are crazy just because they are. I am thinking that dabbling into something like this corrupted his mind.

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    Re: My past and reasons being here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alienist View Post
    I know he's always been ill. Even he's admitted it in the past, but only because he can do things others can't do and in turn, people look him as "crazy" I don't think he's just another mentally ill person. I think he can be dangerous and his rituals, however he does it, does effect people. Professional help I don't think is the only answer. He needs to face his problems and waned to be helped. I know this because he has briefly been into hospitals.

    I don't think people are crazy just because they are. I am thinking that dabbling into something like this corrupted his mind.
    If I wasn't clear, please let me restate; Magic and occultism DOES NOT cause mental illness. If you think we can magic away his behavior, you are going to be sadly disappointed. You are right, he can't be helped until he's ready to be helped, but YOU CAN. If you want to help yourself and in turn help him, YOU need to seek the assistance. Just like with an alcoholic, you can't make him stop drinking, but you can get help so you don't enable his behavior.

    It sounds like he's dabbling in date rape drugs, not magic. Manipulation, not occultism.

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    Re: My past and reasons being here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rowanwood View Post
    If I wasn't clear, please let me restate; Magic and occultism DOES NOT cause mental illness. If you think we can magic away his behavior, you are going to be sadly disappointed. You are right, he can't be helped until he's ready to be helped, but YOU CAN. If you want to help yourself and in turn help him, YOU need to seek the assistance. Just like with an alcoholic, you can't make him stop drinking, but you can get help so you don't enable his behavior.

    It sounds like he's dabbling in date rape drugs, not magic. Manipulation, not occultism.
    It's not drugs. Otherwise, why would someone need an apple, go in the middle of the woods and say words in a language no one has spoken in for thousands of years? You wouldn't need to do that with drugs. This IS real. I know because I watched it happen. Obviously I can't prove it but I know for a fact that what he's doing is real. I know full well that's he's not an idiot. He's actually a very smart person. If all he needed was drugs and manipulation, why would he even BOTHER considering having sigils, magic and spells? If there wasn't any truth to this, why he bother messing around with this stuff? This is a very serious problem. As I said before he already had his pills aren't enough and he even briefly went to a hospital, but as for pills, he's either not taking the right ones or he's not taking enough of them. He was not always like this, too. People aren't just "crazy" for no reason. Usually there's a reason and I don't think that he's just a crazy manipulator who just happens to be into the occult. I don't think it's a coincidence that his mind started getting messed up and it just started slipping away while he just happened to be reading a spell book which makes me think whatever book he was reading, messed his mind up. Also he discussed side effects, aside from hearing things and seeing things. He even said throwing up or physical problems might occur depending on what spell he was doing.

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    Re: My past and reasons being here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alienist View Post
    It's not drugs. Otherwise, why would someone need an apple, go in the middle of the woods and say words in a language no one has spoken in for thousands of years? You wouldn't need to do that with drugs. This IS real. I know because I watched it happen. Obviously I can't prove it but I know for a fact that what he's doing is real. I know full well that's he's not an idiot. He's actually a very smart person. If all he needed was drugs and manipulation, why would he even BOTHER considering having sigils, magic and spells? If there wasn't any truth to this, why he bother messing around with this stuff? This is a very serious problem. As I said before he already had his pills aren't enough and he even briefly went to a hospital, but as for pills, he's either not taking the right ones or he's not taking enough of them. He was not always like this, too. People aren't just "crazy" for no reason. Usually there's a reason and I don't think that he's just a crazy manipulator who just happens to be into the occult. I don't think it's a coincidence that his mind started getting messed up and it just started slipping away while he just happened to be reading a spell book which makes me think whatever book he was reading, messed his mind up. Also he discussed side effects, aside from hearing things and seeing things. He even said throwing up or physical problems might occur depending on what spell he was doing.

    Believe what you will, but since you asked for help, I am offering it. I sincerely believe he is making this up. I can make up a fake language too. I experienced the same thing with a very manipulative person in my past who preyed upon my youth and naivety and eventually sexually assaulted me under the guise of occultism. If you want to let yourself be fooled by him, I can't help you.

    If you feel the only solution is magical in nature, learn spells to protect yourself and shield yourself and to help yourself see the truth of the situation. I think if you can get past your fear and his influence, you will see as I do that there is nothing going on here except mass hysteria and manipulation. It CAN cause everything you describe.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mass_hysteria

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    Re: My past and reasons being here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rowanwood View Post
    Believe what you will, but since you asked for help, I am offering it. I sincerely believe he is making this up. I can make up a fake language too. I experienced the same thing with a very manipulative person in my past who preyed upon my youth and naivety and eventually sexually assaulted me under the guise of occultism. If you want to let yourself be fooled by him, I can't help you.

    If you feel the only solution is magical in nature, learn spells to protect yourself and shield yourself and to help yourself see the truth of the situation. I think if you can get past your fear and his influence, you will see as I do that there is nothing going on here except mass hysteria and manipulation. It CAN cause everything you describe.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mass_hysteria
    Well Occult isn't always bad, it just means "hidden" I think some psychological moves are being used. He always did have an interest in psychology but I don't think he's JUST relying on psychological techniques. He's using something else...

    Any help is appreciated. I am sorry of what happened to you. As far as information goes, I'm not saying you are wrong or inaccurate as some people do things under the guise of something else. I'm saying he's using something to achieve is goals and he's using something most people don't use. I honestly wish I could have recorded this and people would understand the sincerity of my situation by witnessing it.

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    Re: My past and reasons being here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alienist View Post
    It's not drugs. Otherwise, why would someone need an apple, go in the middle of the woods and say words in a language no one has spoken in for thousands of years? You wouldn't need to do that with drugs. This IS real. I know because I watched it happen. Obviously I can't prove it but I know for a fact that what he's doing is real. I know full well that's he's not an idiot. He's actually a very smart person. If all he needed was drugs and manipulation, why would he even BOTHER considering having sigils, magic and spells?
    Firstly, if nobody has spoken a language for thousands of years, how can he, you or I identify it? Yes, what he is doing may involve real actions, and yes, I agree he isn't an idiot. He is, however, trying to manipulate you. So... I am going to give you some good advice and beg to you take it in the spirit in which it is given


    1. Just because someone tells you they're a witch, sorcerer, alchemist, alien or teach at Hogwarts does not mean it's true. Witches are as witches do.

    2. Be doubly suspicious of those who claim to possess great power. If you have to tell people you have it, then generally you don't.

    3. Those who claim 'I am so wicked/powerful/magical (or even magickal ) are talking b****cks. The really powerful ones don't need to give any warning. In fact, they would prefer not to. The others are just trying to intimidate you.

    4. Even in the ancient world, a lot of so-called spells were complete cobblers, written only to induce the gullible to part with their money. Even more modern spells fall in this category.

    5. Reading a couple of books about Aleister Crowley does not make you a Master or Mistress of the Dark Arts. Nor does wearing black lipstick.

    6. Just because someone tells you they can hex you doesn't make it true. In my experience it's just another form of bullying.

    7. Fear is the greatest gift you can give a psychic attacker. It's what they feed on. And of course fear breeds more fear so it quickly becomes a monster to control. Don't give in to it. Learn to laugh at them. If you find it hard, go out and buy a couple of joke books. Or a funny DVD. Shut your ears and eyes to them.

    8. Those that really have power do not need to advertise it. No matter how much power someone has, (and I've known a few immensely powerful people in my time) they still prefer the advantage of surprise whenever possible. Those who advertise their power are full of hot air.

    9. I cannot stress this one strongly enough - if you suspect someone is hexing or manipulating you then keep away from them. This goes for cyber bullying too - and the only way to deal effectively with it is to stay away from their blogs, delete them as friends, delete any comments that upset you, stay off their MySpace, Facebook, TweetiePie Twitter etc., because otherwise you are keeping the 'red cord' of communication open.
    Close all contact.
    Suppress all interest.
    No longer refer to them by name. He/She-who-must-not-be-named was the way the ancient Egyptians dealt with such people.
    That way you will suffocate their intentions.

    I wish you the very best of luck in dealing with He-who-must-not-be named. And please take Rowanwood's advice. It's very sound.
    www.thewolfenhowlepress.com


    Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

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    Re: My past and reasons being here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alienist View Post
    Well Occult isn't always bad, it just means "hidden" I think some psychological moves are being used. He always did have an interest in psychology but I don't think he's JUST relying on psychological techniques. He's using something else...

    Any help is appreciated. I am sorry of what happened to you. As far as information goes, I'm not saying you are wrong or inaccurate as some people do things under the guise of something else. I'm saying he's using something to achieve is goals and he's using something most people don't use. I honestly wish I could have recorded this and people would understand the sincerity of my situation by witnessing it.

    I never said occult studies were bad. I said this crime was done under the guise of occultism, when it was just emotional manipulation.

    In my opinion, you always need to rule out the more likely mundane causes before you jump right to magic. However, clearly you aren't interested in learning from my mistakes and need to make them on your own.

    I wish you luck with dealing with this, but I sincerely doubt there is a magic spell for this. Even if you are right and your brother has some sort of magical book with ancient Sumerian spells and he can read cuniform and speak in a dead language, I can't imagine any of US have the capabilities to protect you from that. Gozer the Gozerian is totally out of my realm of experience.

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    Re: My past and reasons being here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tylluan Penry View Post
    Firstly, if nobody has spoken a language for thousands of years, how can he, you or I identify it? Yes, what he is doing may involve real actions, and yes, I agree he isn't an idiot. He is, however, trying to manipulate you. So... I am going to give you some good advice and beg to you take it in the spirit in which it is given


    1. Just because someone tells you they're a witch, sorcerer, alchemist, alien or teach at Hogwarts does not mean it's true. Witches are as witches do.

    2. Be doubly suspicious of those who claim to possess great power. If you have to tell people you have it, then generally you don't.

    3. Those who claim 'I am so wicked/powerful/magical (or even magickal ) are talking b****cks. The really powerful ones don't need to give any warning. In fact, they would prefer not to. The others are just trying to intimidate you.

    4. Even in the ancient world, a lot of so-called spells were complete cobblers, written only to induce the gullible to part with their money. Even more modern spells fall in this category.

    5. Reading a couple of books about Aleister Crowley does not make you a Master or Mistress of the Dark Arts. Nor does wearing black lipstick.

    6. Just because someone tells you they can hex you doesn't make it true. In my experience it's just another form of bullying.

    7. Fear is the greatest gift you can give a psychic attacker. It's what they feed on. And of course fear breeds more fear so it quickly becomes a monster to control. Don't give in to it. Learn to laugh at them. If you find it hard, go out and buy a couple of joke books. Or a funny DVD. Shut your ears and eyes to them.

    8. Those that really have power do not need to advertise it. No matter how much power someone has, (and I've known a few immensely powerful people in my time) they still prefer the advantage of surprise whenever possible. Those who advertise their power are full of hot air.

    9. I cannot stress this one strongly enough - if you suspect someone is hexing or manipulating you then keep away from them. This goes for cyber bullying too - and the only way to deal effectively with it is to stay away from their blogs, delete them as friends, delete any comments that upset you, stay off their MySpace, Facebook, TweetiePie Twitter etc., because otherwise you are keeping the 'red cord' of communication open.
    Close all contact.
    Suppress all interest.
    No longer refer to them by name. He/She-who-must-not-be-named was the way the ancient Egyptians dealt with such people.
    That way you will suffocate their intentions.

    I wish you the very best of luck in dealing with He-who-must-not-be named. And please take Rowanwood's advice. It's very sound.
    Thanks for the help as it is appreciated. I know some psychological techniques need to be used, but just to be safe, I believe some sort of shielding or healing is necessary. Can't be too careful. He's actually not claiming to be supremely powerful. He just happens to be more knowledgable and more powerful than me when it comes this sort of thing. But even so, he admitted his magic is nothing compared to other sorcerers. He's using low level magic according to him but it's still enough to tip things into his favor. As far as Sumerian, I'm talking about a language that hasn't been spoken widely in thousands of years. People can speak Sumerian and there are that do that, but nobody communicates in Sumerian. That's what I meant by that.]

    Also I don't think all of this is just "smoke and mirrors" and that it's just my mind playing tricks with me. I think there is real power behind this. I just want people to realize the sincerity of my situation. I feel the only way you'll really understand it is if you witness it for your own eyes. He said magic is just another form of science and maybe it is. Just because we don't understand it, doesn't mean it's fake either. I also can't just simply ignore him either. This is my BROTHER we're talking about, not just some weirdo I met online. It won't be easy to ignore it however.
    Last edited by Alienist; 05 Feb 2014 at 09:11.

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