I ask for your Wisdom, Please

[Amunet]

Okay, so I need help trying to figure out my path. This post is to ask for the various experience and knowledge presented on this board (by you lovely members ^_^).

I have been doing research since August 2013. I was watching a TV show late at night and all of a sudden I had the urge to research Wicca. My only experience with this religion/spirituality was when my cousin practiced it briefly and she experimented with spellcasting and mostly with the Craft portion. She ended up going back to her original religion (Mormon, as I was raised as well).
After checking out various books from the library, reading a few things online and going to a Pagan intro meeting at a local shop, I found myself to start really asking the real questions and how I feel and what I think. Prior to this research I did have ideas but never really thought of them.

As for my research, I have learned about: Wicca, Druidry, and Angelo-Saxon Pagan. I have also learned, thanks to this forum, about some Kemetic, Satanism, and Fae Spirituality. Through my own experiences from traveling and studying world cultures, I am familiar with some Asian (Shinto, Buddhism, Hinduism) beliefs as well as some Native American beliefs (due to growing up in the Northwest and going to school in Alaska). I also am familiar with Mormon and some Catholicism.
I would like to believe that I have a decent idea of Spirituality, yet I still have a lot to learn and there are SO MANY branches in Paganism that I really have no idea what path to to seriously follow so that I may identify myself.
I understand that for some, labels do not mean much. I have tried to make myself not care and to just live without that ... but I find that for my new Spirituality, I do care. I would like something to proudly say "I am THIS" or, at least, I am leaning towards THIS :^^:


Okay, for the NON block of writing to help you, help me, better understand my Spiritual way of thinking:

Higher Being: I believe there is a higher being. I like the saying of The All, since that's the closest descriptive word I have run into to explain it. I think that whatever this being/entity is ... is just too big for me, as a human, is far too complex to understand. I am not looking to completely define this being/entity.
I very much believe that this highest being/entity is connected and the main belief in all religions that believe in any higher beings.

Gods/Deities: I love the ideas of various Gods/Goddesses having different personalities. It sounds wonderful ^_^ I think that the various Deities from the different religions are linked in a way to best define them in which that culture understands. Such as Aphrodite and Venus ... both the same yet different depending on culture. I don't find myself pulled towards any specific Deity from any specific Pantheon. If I think of one, I immediately think of a nature being that is kind and about love and growth but also recognizes that death is a natural part of the cycle, not just life.

God/dess: I enjoy the idea of opposites of the God/Goddess being a representation of the higher being in which I cannot comprehend, therefore I try to define it by splitting in polar opposites (male/female). Also, by having various personality traits of this higher being being represented by various Deities. I do like the two representing the main, higher form.

Death/After: What I very much like and feel that is right (after research into the topic) is reincarnation. I know there are various schools of thought on types of reincarnation but my favorite explanation is from the book "The Druidry Handbook" by John Michael Greer, on pages 57-59.
Basically we all start in a melting pot of sorts and we gain life in simplest form; plant and animal (other than human). Then after gaining the knowledge and insight of that life (multiple cycles) we go to the next step up to human lives and cycle again to learn lessons and then after finally achieving that, higher. It explains it SO MUCH better in the book, but I very much like the idea and it makes SO MUCH SENSE to me :^^:
I believe that we start out as other forms of life to gain knowledge and insight of all factors of those various lives (flower, tree, insect, cat, bird, etc.) and then earn our life as human in various lives. If we fail our lessons, we go back to square one to re-learn what we failed to learn. After human form it's, what I believe, is similar to the explanation of Ancients from Stargate SG-1.

Spirits: I believe every living thing has a spirit of sorts. I believe that humans are no higher or more important than other Animals. Our spirit is the spirit that reincarnates.

Altar: I love the altar of sorts. A place to focus spirituality. Much the same as a church is a reverent place, gets you into the mindset. For me, that's what an altar does for me ^_^ Thus far I have a sort of offering plate, a candle, an incense plate (loose leaf) and a part of a geode that I cracked apart myself. I enjoy holding the geode close to me and having an object on or near it to help me focus my intent. After I offer something (usually orange peel), I bury it in my yard by a tree, to complete my offering and to thank nature for her gifts.

Karma: I very much believe in this type of concept of Karma or the Threefold Law.

Rede: For the Rede from my Wicca readings, I like and want to try to follow about living your life and trying not to harm things as much as possible. I do not take this as literally because I will always harm something as long as I'm living and even when I die, but I want to try to make as small as impact as I can

Holidays: I am enthusiastically enjoying the Wheel of the year! Yule, Imbolc, Ostara, Beltane, Midsummer, Lammas, Mabon, and Samhain. I have started celebrating these in mindset of the natural world and those cycles. Not so much the God/Goddess idea of rebirth and the cycles for both genders (though I acknowledge it). I also celebrate New Years, Chinese New Year (Lunar New Year), Valentine's Day, Easter, 4th of July (I live in the U.S.), Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. These I celebrate from traditions growing up and where I live (such as 4th of July and Thanksgiving in November). Most of these are for fun and my fond memories of what my family did while celebrating (Easter, Halloween and Christmas). Where as the Wheel of the Year is more of a Spiritual celebration for me.

Are you still with me? If you are, you get mad props! I tried to keep it as concise as I could.
I'm hoping explaining my viewpoints will help gather your opinions for what path you think I should go towards. You're more than welcome to ask more questions to help further probe and form your thoughts

So, what do you think? Do I lean towards any certain path or am I just eclectic?

Thank you for your time, patience and knowledge :^^:

Edit: Some Resources that I enjoy;

~ To Walk A Pagan Path - by Alaric Albertsson
~ Wicca and Witchcraft for Dummies - Diane Smith
~ The Druidry Handbook - John Michael Greer
~ Out of the Broom Closet - Arin Murphy-Hiscock

[Gleb]

Re: I ask for your Wisdom, Please

I see you really enjoy learning about the world of Paganism, Amunet. From what you have written in the post, I think about: Celtic paganism, Druidry and Wicca, since they are all connected with nature in one way or another.

[Torey]

Re: I ask for your Wisdom, Please

IMHO, I would lean more towards Neo-Wiccan (or as I recently learned, sometimes referred to as "Wiccanate").

[Amunet]

Re: I ask for your Wisdom, Please

Neo-Wiccan? I have heard of that term before but I thought it meant similar to Eclectic Wiccan. Are they not the same? I'll look that up. Thank you ^_^

[Threshold]

Re: I ask for your Wisdom, Please

I'm seeing Hindu (there are a lot of sects of it). I don't know whether it has the aspect of polar opposites male/female but it has all those other things.

Kemeticism has an understanding of deities that seems to fit what you believe...the deities being facets of the one Divine that allow us to interact with it, but it doesn't have many of those other things, like reincarnation etc.

[feathered_regalia]

Re: I ask for your Wisdom, Please

I would like something to proudly say "I am THIS" or, at least, I am leaning towards THIS

As a side note here and a kind word of warning (I mean this with all sincerity and no hostility) it would appear that you are looking to not just find your place in this world, but a way for people to relate to you and your belief without having to give a ten year long explanation of what sort of hodgepodge mishmash describes your beliefs. With this in mind, when you find what suits you, don't be too concerned about explaining what you believe to others, because that's only important to reduce any feelings of anxiety that your path might provoke with those who don't understand. Be patient with yourself.

I understand that for some, labels do not mean much. I have tried to make myself not care and to just live without that ... but I find that for my new Spirituality, I do care.

Perception is a very subjective part of the human experience. Remember, when you adopt a label, that label will create a very personal idea/impression in the people around you. They will then associate you with that feeling. People are very social animals and we badly want to have that sense of "belonging" that you get from bonding with others that you know have a similar way of viewing the world. Just remember, we are also beings that are prone to boredom and need things to change from time to time when something no longer suits us. Before you commit yourself to anything, I would advise sitting down with yourself and finding out what personal needs are driving you toward a commitment. Do you want a label because you're just tired of feeling like you're on the outside of some sort of loop? If that happens to be the case, remember, your spirituality, no matter who you share it with, will always be your own personal experience. Make sure that the experience is one that will leave you with that smile of fulfillment instead of one of boiling resentment.

The path that you choose cannot leave you feeling with "I like this part, but I'm not so sure about this." There's nothing wrong with being a part of something, just so long as that something is everything perfect for you. If you pick up a path and enjoy it at first, but then begin to find it boring after a while, then you did not take the time to properly address the need that you were attempting to fill. Take time to ask yourself some hard questions and give yourself some hard answers. Sometimes we don't like to admit our own feelings because we've been told that some of those emotions are "selfish" or "arrogant". But it's usually just our human nature looking out for our own mental and physical well-being, and it's important to know which part of your psyche is trying to tell you something before you make a lifetime commitment .

With that, I wish you all the best in your personal journey.

[Amunet]

Re: I ask for your Wisdom, Please

Thank you ALL for your responses

I've been doing a lot of thinking and reading and I think I might know what I am spiritually … at least in this part of my life ^_^

I've been reading a lot of "Out of the Broom Closet" by Arin Murphy-Hiscock. There are stories in there that bring me to tears. Almost all stories I very much relate to. Most of the stories are about Wiccan Paganism, some are not. I found that when people say 'Witch' in a derogatory sense, I get a little offended. I still can't say I'm a Witch … but I know I'm definitely walking the path to learn more.

So for now, I feel comfortable calling myself Pagan, without a doubt ^_^ But if I wanted to define further, I believe I can define myself, for now, as Eclectic Wiccan ^_^

Again, thank you all for your responses, you really helped me learn more ^_^

[Rae'ya]

Re: I ask for your Wisdom, Please

Neo-Wiccan? I have heard of that term before but I thought it meant similar to Eclectic Wiccan. Are they not the same? I'll look that up. Thank you ^_^

'Neo-Wiccan' is any person who follows a Wiccan derived path, but who is not Gardnerian, Alexandrian or a British Traditional Witch. Which really just means most people on pagan forums who call themselves 'Wiccan' in any way are technically 'neo-Wiccan'. But not everyone delineates that way. Some people think that those of us who use the term are elitist, snarky meanies. But it's not meant to be derogatory or demeaning in any way... it's just that what many neo-pagans think of now as 'Wicca' is very different to Gardner's Wicca.

Calling yourself Eclectic Wiccan (or Seax Wiccan or Dianic Wiccan or Faerie Wiccan or whatever else) really does the same thing... it's just recognising that you are not practicing the Wicca that Gardner constructed, but rather a modern Wiccan-derived or Wiccan-inspired faith.

[jcaternolo]

Re: I ask for your Wisdom, Please

I say, follow your heart. Learn everything you can, and try praying to some of these deities to see if they answer. My path took many different religions, and much praying and introspection and research, and finally, I settled on my truth. I think we all have Godhood inside of us, and that Godhood guides us each to our own truth.

Also, like some have probably said or will say, to seek the divine, one must search within, not outwards.

[Rowan Wulfram]

Re: I ask for your Wisdom, Please

The path that you choose cannot leave you feeling with "I like this part, but I'm not so sure about this." There's nothing wrong with being a part of something, just so long as that something is everything perfect for you.

I very much agree with this statement! After sitting down and deciding what I actually believed (much like you have done here, OP), researching a few of my concepts of belief led to learning about Wicca. The number of "hits" was mind-blowing, but Wicca still had this "almost perfect, but not quite" feeling for me. However, I did know solidly that my beliefs were pagan, so I started researching every branch I came across. I felt a huge draw to Germanic mythology, but Asatru didn't have the click either. It took me a whole year to find my "perfect fit" which ended up being ADF Druidry.

So just keep doing what you're doing, read books, listen to podcasts, research anything that comes up that piques your interest - you'll stumble across a good system eventually and there's no need to rush to find it. (I learned about ADF through a random DruidCast episode.)

Although, frankly, your description does sound like you would be a good fit for some form of druidry. There are several different groups that have slightly varying systems of belief, so it might be worth taking a look at those. (OBOD, AODA, ADF, Henge of Keltria, others)