I was wondering if anyone had any experience being in a relationship with someone who had a different faith from you. I know it's sometimes not encouraged by the more orthodox religions but some are more open minded than others. I know some would get along with more so than others like a Druid going out with a Wiccan or a Buddhist going with a Shintoist. Did you have any experience with this. If so how was it? What are your views on it?
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
It didn't work for me, when I've (many years ago) dated more conservative (religiously) Christians. Many of our basic beliefs and values were too different. And...someone that constantly has it in their mind that you are going to hell and (at least subconsciously) thinks they have a duty (for your sake) to convert you can't truly respect you 100%, imo. But, I had good relationships with people that were in more liberal (religiously) denominations, and more open minded as individuals.....or at least religion was never thr origin of strife in the relationship.Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
I'm a Christian (of the Catholic variety) in a relationship with an eclectic Pagan, and have been so for more than a year.
There are a few awkward moments. A few people telling me they'll be praying for my girlfriend here, a few people asking me which of us is converting there, one person telling me our relationship was wrong...
But as for our relationship itself, really it hasn't been a big deal. She's gone to church with me on Easter, she's shared her practice with me. We respect each other's beliefs, and frankly are closer in beliefs despite being different religions than anyone else I've dated. So its no biggie.Comment
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
I have a friend of mine who was trying to date a girl who was in a different religion and well they keep arguing about religions that they were both in. It got annoying after the 15th religion battle they go into and the relationship did not last.Comment
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
My boyfriend is an ex-christian (has been christened in a lutheran church actually). I say ex because he doesn't really believe in stuff like that anymore and he is more agnostic I think and a person who most of all believes in science. He doesn't really believe in a lot of things and he does test me in my faith sometimes by asking all sorts of questions for which he knows the most logical answers, but he wants to know if I figure them out. I'm quite used to it and otherwise it really hasn't made an effect on our relationship and we've been together well over 3 years now.
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
I was in love with the Muslim who is on this board. We broke up. But when I think about it, it was because of differences in what we thought. Not in our actual religion. In fact we usually found ways to find common ground in both our religions. I even attempted to convert. But alas, I haz no belief button in my brainz.Satan is my spirit animal
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Same as this guy, cept im the pagan gf. And our religious relationship isnt quite so close. Working on it.Originally posted by Malflick View PostThorSon's milkshake brings all the PF girls to the yard - Volcaniclastic
RIP
I have never been across the way
Seen the desert and the birds
You cut your hair short
Like a shush to an insult
The world had been yelling
Since the day you were born
Revolting with anger
While it smiled like it was cute
That everything was shit.
- J. WylderComment
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
Very similar situation with my relationship. He was raised Episcopalian, me Church of Christ. We met in College and started dating when I still considered myself Christian and he also did, at least vaguely so. He's generally non-religious - still believes in God and has the basis of a Christian worldview, but has his own ideas on the subject and would probably be considered a blasphemer by any run-of-the-mill Christian.Originally posted by KittyFreya View PostMy boyfriend is an ex-christian (has been christened in a lutheran church actually). I say ex because he doesn't really believe in stuff like that anymore and he is more agnostic I think and a person who most of all believes in science. He doesn't really believe in a lot of things and he does test me in my faith sometimes by asking all sorts of questions for which he knows the most logical answers, but he wants to know if I figure them out. I'm quite used to it and otherwise it really hasn't made an effect on our relationship and we've been together well over 3 years now.
When I started questioning my beliefs he told me, "I think everyone has this kind of turmoil or inner storm inside of them. If someone can find something that calms that inner storm, they should go towards it. I kind of wish I could find something like that myself." So even though he's often a snide, sarcastic, and cynical individual, he was pretty supportive of me as I explored paganism and eventually got into Heathenry.
Been together 4 years, never had an issue in this area even though I "converted" in the middle of our relationship. Not sure how we'll deal with potential children, though, we haven't really discussed that far.Comment
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
I love the quirks of my relationship with my boyfriend, and we are not only interracial, but interfaith as well. When he was younger, he was a Christian raised by his wonderfully open minded Catholic mother. He used to be devout and then, I wouldn't say turned Atheist, because he had faith.. but faith in himself and the power of his Will still is something that is to be admired. He sets his mind, and he does it. He's also very sure of himself and confident because of the way his mother raised him. That being said? My boyfriend is Buddhist, and I am pagan. And his mother is fine with both things as long as it is what is right for us. (I love both of them dearly, and fiercely)Comment
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
I'm with a serious atheist. We just never, ever talk about religion, ever, unless it's a discussion about history or culture. To me, religion is personal and I don't need to share it with others in my life. To him, he just doesn't really get it (I'm not even sure he -can- get it...he was raised in the tradition of Marx when it comes to that), but respects my personal beliefs.
His whole family is atheist too, but mine is so secular that holidays don't really feel any different. We celebrate secular cultural holidays together like Easter and Christmas and I usually make a small dinner for important pagan days.Comment
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
I tried it once and it didn't work, for more reasons that one. I think if both partners can be tolerant and understanding then it must be possible, others seem to manage! I was with someone who considered my beliefs 'mad and stupid'. Doomed, that one.
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
My husband thinks he is an athiest but when he is unusually philosophical or drunk he speaks more like asatru/odinist. He agrees with the principles laid out in the Edda's but he seems that lack the ability to put faith in and "invisible man". And me, I'm an effective pagan. I go where the currents carry me which presently is in a heathen/asatru/lokean direction.
A have had no problems with this difference other than a little friendly teasing here and there. We both have agreed to let our children attend Christian churches with their grandparents. Kids are very astute, and they will ask questions and find their own spiritual path in time. So far m five year old enjoys her friends and singing at church, and she leaves offerings in the "fairy bowl" at home so that our flowers will grow. We celebrate most of my pagan holidays alongside our family's more secular holidays, and she always gets to gut the pumpkin for Halloween. We both agree to let our kids pick up religion is hen and where they choose but also keep them exposed to fact that not everyone believes the same thing.Comment
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
That sounds a but lonely, to be honest. Maybe we're just different on outward expression of beliefs or "religion". I don't think I could be with someone who I couldn't even discuss our beliefs or at least do small spiritual acts together like meditation.Originally posted by DanieMarie View PostComment
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
I've always been solitary with my beliefs. I actually don't enjoy other people being a part of it. To me, it's my "me" time and someone else being around feels like an intrusion. But I understand where you're coming from...not everyone feels the same way I do.Originally posted by LeviImmortal View PostComment
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Re: Interfaith Relationships
Many years back I dated a Christian, and that did not end well at all. I was content to let him have his beliefs, while I had mine, but he usually told me that I was going to hell at least once a week. He was also one of those Christian types who thinks they can sin all they want and it doesn't matter, as long as they believe in Jesus, so that was doubly annoying. In the end religion was one of the things I broke up with him over, but there were also plenty of other things on that list...
I've been with a Jewish-sort-of-atheist for the last 13 years now, and religion has never once been an issue for us. Okay, well, now that I think about it, he threw a big fit over my wanting a Christmas tree the first year we lived together, but he got over it. I don't know if that really counts, since it was a totally secular thing for me. Generally though he does his thing, which I occasionally join in on, and I do my thing, which I generally prefer to do totally alone anyway. He probably thinks my thing is kinda weird (and it kinda is?), but he's always been respectful about it, so it works.
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