Belief Transitions?

[Kerri]

So my last year has been a spiritual roller coaster ride. I started out identifying as Christian, then as agnostic, then as "the only thing I'm sure of is that I'm not Christian", and now I've finally come to Irish pagan. Over the last year I've felt a really strong connection to my Irish heritage (my family immigrated mostly from there) and it slowly built up until I finally started researching Irish paganism and realized it really was something I connected with. Sometimes I still catch myself in Christian habits (ending a prayer with "Amen" or whathaveyou) and I hope that kind of wears away after a while, but it's a process, I suppose.

I'm just curious as to how other people have gotten to where they are now? How did you transition? (Assuming you were raised with different beliefs from what you believe now.)

[EclecticWheel]

Re: Belief Transitions?

So my last year has been a spiritual roller coaster ride. I started out identifying as Christian, then as agnostic, then as "the only thing I'm sure of is that I'm not Christian", and now I've finally come to Irish pagan. Over the last year I've felt a really strong connection to my Irish heritage (my family immigrated mostly from there) and it slowly built up until I finally started researching Irish paganism and realized it really was something I connected with. Sometimes I still catch myself in Christian habits (ending a prayer with "Amen" or whathaveyou) and I hope that kind of wears away after a while, but it's a process, I suppose.

I'm just curious as to how other people have gotten to where they are now? How did you transition? (Assuming you were raised with different beliefs from what you believe now.)

It has been confusing at some points. I wasn't raised as anything, but became a Pentecostal as a child, having had some extended family in that tradition. When I was about fourteen, I couldn't reconcile their perspective on the Bible (infallible, literal, etc.) with the text and reverted from Christianity. At a later point in my life, I realized the Christian imagery still resonated with me in a very deep way, although not in any literal and orthodox way. I became an Episcopalian because of the diversity and acceptance of various viewpoints.

Along the way I have had my struggles with even a more liberal version of Christianity and have explored other Christian traditions and religions entirely, but have never actually left the Episcopal Church. My approach to the Christian aspects of my belief is very different from when I first joined even though I wasn't ever orthodox.

At this point I'm largely a cultural Anglican. I still love the people, the flair, the holy days and culture, the beauty of it and all the interesting types I've met in the community including other spiritual eclectics. And a lot of the theology still informs what I believe and practice in a way. But of late I don't attend church much, and I am largely practicing alone and eclectic in my beliefs.

I go back and forth on whether I am really a Christian. It depends on how one defines the term. I am Christocentric, but my interpretation of who and what Christ is differs from any Christian tradition I know of. My god-beliefs have no correlation to any simple category. Depending on the definition of the terms or what aspect I emphasize, there is a sense in which I could call myself a pantheist, a panentheist, a monotheist, a polytheist, or an animist. I draw on various Christian theologies for inspiration, but often re-interpret them and recombine them. I have written my own liturgies, including multiple forms of the mass (Holy Communion), based on my own spiritual experiences and with a different theology. The point of my practice, especially Holy Communion, is to bring to realization my own innate Godhood, and to recognize Godhood in all other living things, which is all that is. Many of my rituals come from my own Anglo-Catholic practices. Some of them look more neo-pagan: altars with food offerings, occasional magic or divination, etc.

I have been through a lot of phases of development, but my path has settled down in terms of its basic beliefs, goals, and a basic outline of ritual, but there are still a lot of aspects in its ritual forms that I expect to continue to develop. One thing that has been most consistent about my beliefs for many years, though, wherever I have been in terms of religious belief or practice, is that despite all the myth, imagery, ritual, and devotion I immerse myself in, my beliefs about the universe and its behavior are basically compatible with atheistic materialism/physicalism. That's a really important aspect to how my theology has developed (and continues to develop) in regard to the Trinity, my Eucharistic liturgies, how I interpret and understand what spirits or saints are, heaven, hell, etc. That is a big reason I gravitate more towards an eclectic/solitary practice: I cannot reconcile myself to any belief in the supernatural or dualism.

[hybridshockdp]

Re: Belief Transitions?

I was raised a southern Baptist on the bible belt, it never really "clicked" with me. Ive explored Buddhism, Wicca, and many more, right now I'm neutral and still exploring

[Heka]

Whats wrong with saying Amen?

[Kerri]

Re: Belief Transitions?

Whats wrong with saying Amen?

It's not just ending it in Amen. That was just an example. Growing up I was always taught the "In Jesus' name, Amen" phrasing, so it's more a matter of just shaking the wording. There's nothing inherently wrong with it. It just feels awkward in-context.

[monsno_leedra]

Re: Belief Transitions?

Perhaps the influence is Celtic Christianity which is found in Ireland and has a different slant upon Christianity. Only know just a little bit about it so not a source to speak or advise on it but might find it useful to check out. There are some who still insist the earlier Druidic groups crossed into Irish Christianity and made a significant impact upon it.

[Kerri]

Re: Belief Transitions?

The influence on why I would say that? I honestly just think it's just years and years of saying and hearing phrases like that. Or are you saying that's influenced you? (Sorry, I'm not exactly sure what you were trying to say...)

[monsno_leedra]

Re: Belief Transitions?

Just saying if your looking into Irish Paganism a lot of it crossed over into the Celtic Christian Church. Since this is not a debate or discuss area i'll not go further into.

[Kerri]

Re: Belief Transitions?

Ahhhhhh. I'll look into it then. Thanks!

[LunarHarvest]

Re: Belief Transitions?

For me, my transition wasn't really about a difference in ritual, although that proved quite large in the end, but rather a changing in my thinking. My transition occurred over a year and a half of deep philosophical questioning and searching. I over time came to the conclusions which would lead me to Shinto, and then started to study Shinto properly.

The transition wasn't too difficult once I started practising Shinto, but it was taking that first step forward, and practising Shinto, which was the difficult for me. I was very nervous and perhaps a tad apprehensive about committing myself to Shinto, but I never regretted it afterwards.

[Gleb]

Re: Belief Transitions?

I was raised Jewish, then Christian and then Kemetic - my final point until now.

- - - Updated - - -

If I remember correctly, we had a thread specially dedicated to it. I can't remember where, or how it's called.

[Thorbjorn]

Re: Belief Transitions?

I'm just curious as to how other people have gotten to where they are now? How did you transition? (Assuming you were raised with different beliefs from what you believe now.)

I was raised Roman Catholic, converted to Eastern Orthodox. But all that time I had an interest in, and believed in the Hindu deities. I left religion, Christianity specifically and became an agnostic deist. I rediscovered Hinduism and began practicing, even to the point of wearing traditional Indian men's clothing to temple. I should have left it at just believing in the deities, because the actual practices and beliefs of Hinduism are not my cup of tea. Though I am very fond of Indians and Indian culture, I am western; Hinduism is very tightly intertwined with Indian culture. I dabbled a bit in Vajrayana (Tibetan) Buddhism, Taoism, and a combination of those with Hinduism. None of it worked.

Now, I've always had a fascination and affinity for Norse mythology and especially Thor (the real Thor, though movie Thor is pretty cool too ). I began wearing a Mjolnir pendant a few months ago, bought a small replica of the Eyrarland Statue, and even began thinking about setting up a shrine, which I have since done. I began drifting away from Hinduism more and more, but suddenly towards Asatru. I think Thor grabbed me in a headlock.

My family is Italian-American, but I have strong reasons to believe my true heritage and culture is northern European, possibly Norman... who were Norse who settled in what is now France. Our surname comes from a Norman occupational title. We know southern Italy and Sicily were held by the Vandals, Franks, Normans, and just about everyone else from northern Europe. This is part of what has drawn me to Asatru, discovering my heritage, hence my user name.

So in a nutshell... Roman Catholic -> Eastern Orthodox -> Deism -> Hinduism -> Hindu/Buddhism/Taoism Personal Spiritual Disaster -> Asatru. Next stop: Valhalla.

[Niamh]

Re: Belief Transitions?

I was raised Christian, in a super conservative church that really left me, well, traumatized. As a kid I did consider myself to believe fully in that religion, but I recognize now that it was more a matter of my having faith in something and only ever being told about the one option. There were always things that I strongly disagreed with, things I could not reconcile with myself/my beliefs, but given my circumstances, I naturally assumed I was in the wrong and that I just needed to pray about it and be "better" (and so on, and so forth). That was my life for years and years, and when I finally got out of that situation I was very angry-- very cookie cutter story about a queer kid in the South-- so I jumped to atheism/agnosticism (I never committed to a label, but I was just really anti-religion and in denial about my faith because I was hurt). It took a while of me being exposed to other religions for me to find the courage to start exploring. Once I did, I was drawn to paganism immediately: I only really knew of Wicca when I started out, but since then I've been reading more or less nonstop and, well, here I am. Trying to figure it all out like a lot of us on PF, I guess

[nbdy]

Re: Belief Transitions?

Re: Amen.

It is good to know what something means if you say it. I was raised saying "Amen" and never knew where the word came from or what it actually meant. It seemed to be used in two ways, either to affirm another person's words, sort of like, "Yeah, what he said," or to affirm one's own words, sort of like, "I really mean it." I discovered not very long ago that this is nearly accurate, but, rather, the meaning of the word is an acronym for "God the Trustworthy King," or more literally, "First King Infinite Beyond Time," only in Hebrew the first letters are A-M-N. By saying "Amen," then, means that you recognize whatever preceded as a manifestation of the divine.

[Threshold]

Re: Belief Transitions?

I was raised Catholic, but I thought the stories, saints etc were like fables to teach a lesson. When I was about 9 I said something on that order to my mom and older sister and was shocked at how upset they got and how they insisted I MUST believe these things to be literal truth.

Ooops.

I had always "known" something, but had no words or context for it. Catholic was what I was, there wasn't anything else, so I never considered the something that resonated inside me to be religion.

Fast forward to early 20's. I'd left Catholicism. Was going through a LOT of turmoil in my life...many people suggested prayer/faith could help. So a spiritual crisis became part of the turmoil. I hemmorhaged after the birth of my second child and had a near death experience. The birth was at home and I was bleeding so "hard" that I could hear the blood rushing out of me like out of a hose.

My NDE was nothing like any religion I'd been raised in, but it meshed perfectly with that "something" I'd never had a name for.

About 18 months later, hospitalized (for a different reason) It all came to a head and I knew I had to stop trying on this or that religion etc, and live what I believed, practice it, as a religion.

A few years later I came across some other people online that believed as I did.

So...I didn't transform my beliefs, but I transformed from practicing a faith I did not believe, to practicing one I DO believe.

This was about 25 years ago.

My faith is the framework on which my life is built.