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    When bad things happen

    Bad things happen, and we each have our perspectives and strategies for navigating the times when bad things happen. My perspective has changed over time, and not necessarily in any coherent way, at times believing that everything happens for a reason and at other times believing that there is no reason for anything, and probably anything else along the continuum between those extremes.

    This is one of the many examples of how what we believe matters, though, because a person's perception of circumstances largely dictates how s/he will choose to respond to those circumstances. Hawkfeathers expressed exasperation with the belief that "if bad things happen, you attracted them because they are in you" on another thread. This should cause her to respond to unhappy events with efforts at self-improvement, which isn't a bad thing. In contrast, some one who believes the hardship to be God's will should respond with resignation and acceptance, or another religious belief might be that it is the work of the devil and requires sacrifice and zealotry because it must be "fought."

    So, as I pondered this I wondered how folks here perceive hardship. Do you see it as part of some larger plan for your life, a consequence of your own actions, just random doodoo occurring, enemy action? Does it depend on the circumstances of the hardship? Do you respond in various ways depending upon what is occurring or find that you basically pull out the same tool kit every time?

    "No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical." -- Niels Bohr

    #2
    Re: When bad things happen

    I believe that bad things are sometimes just accidents, and sometimes the result of listening to other people too much, (not having proper info), and sometimes lapses in good judgement. And what's a bad thing to me might be a good thing to someone else, so it's somewhat relative.
    sigpic
    Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

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      #3
      Re: When bad things happen

      Bad things happen for different reasons - sometimes one acts in a way that causes them, sometimes they happen to one because of what others do, sometimes the complexity of the world's infinite variables make it impossible to tell why something bad happens.

      No cause, no purpose, no rhyme, no reason. Things happen sometimes that are not one's own fault...
      Every moment of a life is a horrible tragedy, a slapstick comedy, dark nihilism, golden illumination, or nothing at all; depending on how we write the story we tell ourselves.

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        #4
        Re: When bad things happen

        I used to believe bad things happen because they offer us an opportunity to learn and grow spiritually. That doesn't explain the bulk of the horrific things I see on the news every single day, or why my mum has had nothing but bad luck her entire life. So I don't know. It's the main reason I lost my faith though, so finding an answer that fits for me is pretty high on my priority list. I'll be watching this thread very closely!
        夕方に急なにわか雨は「夕立」と呼ばれるなら、なぜ朝ににわか雨は「朝立ち」と呼ばれないの? ^^If a sudden rain shower in the evening is referred to as an 'evening stand', then why isn't a shower in the morning called 'morning stand'?

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          #5
          Re: When bad things happen

          I'm with Corbin... It depends on the bad thing. Sometimes bad stuff happens because you made a bad choice (usually when you make a bad choice, this is the case, but sometimes you get lucky), sometimes bad stuff happens because you are in the wrong place at the wrong time (stochasticity, or statistical randomness--but sometimes good things happen when you are in the right place at the right time), sometimes bad stuff happens when you made a good choice just because of other people or factors mucking it up along the way...

          Bad things can be a punishment for bad choices or actions, or it can be a natural consequence, or it can be random chance, or it can be some combination....but that's a subjective personal perception.

          I have found that when I make an effort to make good, responsible decisions and to take beneficial (even generous) and responsive action, treat others with compassion and tactful honesty, and go about your day with a mostly positive and cheerful outlook, the world tends to be kind (not always, but mostly). Maybe this is a result of some divine force, maybe its simple reciprocity or cause and effect, maybe its that I'm lucky (and priveleged)...or maybe the psychology--by doing all this, the bad stuff, when it inevitably comes isn't quite so bad and the mediocre is really quite pleasant.
          Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
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            #6
            Re: When bad things happen

            Can I take all of the above? People tend to lump misfortunes together for this question and they shouldn't. Life is a complex thing. Numerous factors can lead to benign fortune and numerous factors can screw one over.
            life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

            Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

            "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

            John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

            "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

            Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


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              #7
              Re: When bad things happen

              I have found at times the "Bad" thing as they say,makes me stronger. BUT,as they also say "Sh*t happens"...Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar as they also said...
              MAGIC is MAGIC,black OR white or even blood RED

              all i ever wanted was a normal life and love.
              NO TERF EVER WE belong Too.
              don't stop the tears.let them flood your soul.




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              my new page here,let me know what you think.


              nothing but the shadow of what was

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              http://www.witchvox.com/vu/vxposts.html

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                #8
                Re: When bad things happen

                People like/need/are used to making up reasons for things. It's what we do. This can be applied to when____things happen.

                I look at the reason for something happening and act accordingly.

                Sometimes I change my actions. Sometimes I change my beliefs. Sometimes I just say eff it and keep on truckin.
                Satan is my spirit animal

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                  #9
                  Re: When bad things happen

                  Sometimes, things just happen. The thing I always remind myself when dumb stuff goes wrong, like a traffic jam or a store being out of something I wanted, is that the world doesn't spin on my fingers. Stuff goes wrong, plans gets screwed up, and accidents happen. I try not to go anywhere if I'm in a hurry for this reason.

                  The bigger things, I still haven't decided on. I mentioned elsewhere that I've recently become disabled because of stupid medical reasons that are not only diagnosed, but not responding to any attempts at treatment. It happened suddenly with no rhyme or reason that I can find. Is there a purpose for it? I don't know. I'm sure it's caused by something that just hasn't been found yet, but is there a lesson to be learned in this? I'm not sure.
                  Army of Darkness: Guardians of the Chat

                  Honorary Nord.

                  Habbalah Vlogs

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                    #10
                    Re: When bad things happen

                    I believe fairly firmly in reincarnation. I was taught (and this explanation is a rough one to the best of my understanding, and may not fully reflect the teachings of the lineage of my teachers) that we accumulate a certain amount of hardship (negative karma) through negative actions during an incarnation, and then are either allotted (or allowed to choose, depending on the spiritual maturity of the individual in question) a quantity of this to burn off (either through experiencing the hardship or through growing past it spiritually, thus negating it's necessity) and (roughly) in what manner to do so in the next incarnation.

                    This isn't a punishment so much as a lesson - ie. if someone is, say, violent, during one lifetime, during the next lifetime they will suffer violence, thus teaching their spirit the harm it causes and the futility of such behavior. A fairly crude example, but it makes the point.

                    Now I can't personally verify this, but it was taught to me by people whom I have good reason to trust, aligns with my preexisting beliefs and makes sense on a logical level, and so I adopt it as a part of my worldview until I come across either experiential evidence disproving it or a theory which makes greater logical sense and is a greater fit with my experiences and understanding of reality.

                    This view has been a great aid and comfort in facing hardship, as it allows me to know that there's a reason for the hardships in life (and that they are quite possibly of my own design for my greater good), and furthermore, allows me to approach them as lessons to learn from and through which I can better myself, personally and spiritually.
                    Last edited by Aeran; 04 Dec 2014, 19:32.

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                      #11
                      Re: When bad things happen

                      Man. All those children raped and murdered must have been quite the assholes in their former life.
                      Satan is my spirit animal

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                        #12
                        Re: When bad things happen

                        Originally posted by Medusa View Post
                        Man. All those children raped and murdered must have been quite the assholes in their former life.
                        Exactly why I can't buy into the whole 'life's lessons' and 'bad in a past life' theory. Every member of a single family being monsters in a past life? Every child in a class? An entire villiage? A whole bus full of people? Almost an entire school year group on a field trip? Nah, can't buy it.

                        Besides this then brings the next question... Why would humans only suffer because they did wrong in a past life, when aniimals have been dying in seemingly cruel and horrific ways since long before human beings even existed? What about species who which suffering is part of their natural life cycle? I just... No... Stop it. The 'because it happens' explanations seem closer to the truth for me.
                        夕方に急なにわか雨は「夕立」と呼ばれるなら、なぜ朝ににわか雨は「朝立ち」と呼ばれないの? ^^If a sudden rain shower in the evening is referred to as an 'evening stand', then why isn't a shower in the morning called 'morning stand'?

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                          #13
                          Re: When bad things happen

                          Man. All those children raped and murdered must have been quite the assholes in their former life.

                          It's a matter of perspective. I understand the concept makes no sense if you have a vastly different worldview and set of experiences to back that up, and I didn't claim to represent the concept perfectly - I just answered the question.
                          Last edited by Aeran; 04 Dec 2014, 21:20.

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                            #14
                            Re: When bad things happen

                            Originally posted by Aeran View Post
                            It's a question of perspective. I understand it makes no sense if you have a different worldview and set of experiences to back that up, and I didn't claim to represent the concept perfectly, I just answered the question.
                            I totally get the reason to believe in this. Don't get me wrong. But if I follow the logic, this is what I get. How do you personally rationalize babies dying of Ebola at a few months old? What does your belief system say about this sort of thing? Not trying to criticism but just point out something I don't understand at all.
                            Satan is my spirit animal

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                              #15
                              Re: When bad things happen

                              Maybe our individual lives aren't as important as we'd like to think. Maybe we're each just a stitch in a huge, ongoing tapestry. Some stitches make up the light, some the dark. I dunno.
                              sigpic
                              Can you hear me, Major Tom? I think I love you.

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