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  • Causing Nightmares?

    wasn't sure where to post this, so apologizes if I did it in the wrong spot.

    Ever since I've started studying paganism and practicing, my husband has been experiencing terrible nightmares. Tonight he dreamed of three girls trying to keep some evil force out of a house, and he looked outside and our cat was burning on a flaming pillar.

    That highly upsets me cause it's my cat obviously. Could I be causing his nightmares for being pagan? He was pagan for a year and had nightmares then as well. I feel like I'm causing them.. can that be true?

  • #2
    Re: Causing Nightmares?

    I don't have a lot of experience with this. But I'd say no, you don't cause nightmares just from being Pagan. I've accidentally caught some negative energy once or twice, which gave me nightmares too, but it has never affected my boyfriend (and we've lived together as long as I've been practicing). And that was from experimenting.
    What have you been doing lately?
    And this may seem like a stupid question, but might your husband simply subconsciously be uncomfortable with or scared of paganism? That could definitely cause nightmares.

    All that being said, it might be worth looking at what the dream means too, especially before blaming yourself. I've had similar dreams. Trying to keep out demons all night while everything around me was on fire. At first I thought something might be wrong, but I started to realise it's a dream I have if I'm very stressed about something. His may be something like that too.

    I won't rule out that some practice could cause his nightmares, but I know very little of that so I'll leave it to someone else.
    You remind me of the babe
    What babe?
    The babe with the power
    What power?
    The Power of voodoo
    Who do?
    You do!
    Do what?
    Remind me of the babe!

    Army of Darkness: Guardians of the Chat

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    • #3
      Re: Causing Nightmares?

      I think that Iris has two great points:

      a) What have you been "practicing"?

      b) Your husband's nightmares may be more reflective of his own feelings/attitudes, subconscious or not, towards Paganism than your practice of it.

      It's hard to properly analyse the situation without all of the facts, but I would say that it's highly unlikely that his nightmares are being "caused" by your studies or practices.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Causing Nightmares?

        Originally posted by Torey View Post
        b) Your husband's nightmares may be more reflective of his own feelings/attitudes, subconscious or not, towards Paganism than your practice of it.
        I tried to craft a reply that said this and failed so I gave up.

        Go Torey!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Causing Nightmares?

          My practices is the in general stuff. I'm worshiping the deities I invited into my life and giving them offerings, meditating and just the in general stuff. I practice witchcraft but nothing that's considered bad. Or at least I don't think it's bad.

          He's said he's fine with me being pagan, and he doesn't care. I just dunno really. Work and us moving has him stressed out, but he has always had dreams of something happening and it actually.. happening. It scares me sometimes how arraucate his dreams can be.

          That being said, when he was pagan he had even worse nightmares, but he was in the military then and even more stressed out. I wanted to do something to ward off evil, maybe thinking something is bothering him and he just doesn't know. But he requested I didn't do anything that might help.

          Sorry if this was a dumb question or anything, the dream only really bothered me is because it had our black cat in it, and he specifically pointed that part out too me. :/

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Causing Nightmares?

            as Torey said, it's hard to say without knowing all the facts. "general stuff" is, well, pretty general it can be a lot of different things. I don't know enough about working with deities to say anything about that. Witchcraft is also pretty broad. Personally I don't believe anything is good or bad in itself, it's how it is used that defines it I can't help but think, you say he used to be a pagan, might there be a reason why he's not anymore? something that might make him uncomfortable with it. But honestly, you say he was stressed last time he had the nightmares, and he's stressed now, I think it's most likely that is what is causing his nightmares.
            Anyway, don't apologise for asking a question. I understand why a dream like that might have caused you to worry.
            You remind me of the babe
            What babe?
            The babe with the power
            What power?
            The Power of voodoo
            Who do?
            You do!
            Do what?
            Remind me of the babe!

            Army of Darkness: Guardians of the Chat

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Causing Nightmares?

              Well there are very many personal reasons I know why he went back to Christian now. One being family frowned onto him and other such things. He is very private about it, and he's even private about these dreams. The only reason I even knew he had it is I returned home to him awake and looking scared, and that bothered me very much. So of course I'm worried.

              I'm starting to think it's his subconscious maybe fighting with him. He's considered paganism again when I started studying, but he's facing a huge struggle with it and that may be it. I just kinda feel like I'm the cause because I am the one bringing this stuff up and throwing this into our lives. His family is very... religious, and aren't going to be too happy when they find out I'm pagan.

              Now as 'in general' what I do is I study, research, pray to my deities, mediate, practice with my tarot cards. As for witchcraft I practice warding spells and spells for luck, nothing to bring harm or something like that.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Causing Nightmares?

                It sounds plausible that's he's struggling a bit with it, you know him better than any of us
                I'd say don't blame yourself. You can't let others dictate what is right for you, not even his family. If he's fine with it, and you're happy about it that's what matters. I'd probably try talking to him about why he thinks he has nightmares. You may be worrying for nothing, sometimes nightmares are "just" nightmares. It's easier to talk than to guess.
                You remind me of the babe
                What babe?
                The babe with the power
                What power?
                The Power of voodoo
                Who do?
                You do!
                Do what?
                Remind me of the babe!

                Army of Darkness: Guardians of the Chat

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Causing Nightmares?

                  Thanks! And too everyone else. Helped ease my mind a bit, sorry you all had to hear me worry and whine. I'd love to hear any other opinions too this if they read it!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Causing Nightmares?

                    I have to agree with the consensus that its him and his issues*, not anything you are doing to "cause" this.

                    *By "issues", I mean the possible fearfulness, conflict, guilt, and probably even shame of his having strayed, considered straying, and maybe even because you are straying--traditional Christianity tends to be big on guilt and shame and fear as the modus operandi for obedience and keeping the faith. And if these issues are over his concern for you, that's still his probem to overcome, not yours...husband or not, you are not answerable to him for your spirituality and he's not responsible for what he (or at least his family) might percieve as your failure to achieve salvation (I'm adding this in here because I've seen this become problematic for couples).
                    “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

                    “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
                    ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

                    "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
                    ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

                    "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

                    Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
                    sigpic

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                    • #11
                      Re: Causing Nightmares?

                      I wonder, too, if it's making him subconsciously go back to when he was in the military, and it's bringing back that stress for him. Whatever the reason, no, it's not your fault. It sounds like there's either past trauma or guilt (like Thalassa said) that he is dealing with.
                      “You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend.” -- Bruce Lee

                      Army of Darkness: Guardians of the Chat

                      Honorary Nord.

                      Habbalah Vlogs

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                      • #12
                        Re: Causing Nightmares?

                        Somehow I missed this...

                        That being said, when he was pagan he had even worse nightmares, but he was in the military then and even more stressed out. I wanted to do something to ward off evil, maybe thinking something is bothering him and he just doesn't know. But he requested I didn't do anything that might help.
                        So...as a vet (and a former corpsman)... Any chance he has PTSD? I have no idea what branch he was in, or where he served, or where he was deployed, etc. But, its always a possibility...I've had a number of patients and coworkers with PTSD, from combat deployments to humanitarian deployments to MST. And if that is the case, it doesn't matter what anyone is doing (except if it causes extra stress or not for him), its a psychological thing, and he needs to see a professional. It might even be that he hasn't told you about whatever it is--that isn't unusual.
                        “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

                        “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
                        ~~Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

                        "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
                        ~~Stephen Jay Gould, Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of History

                        "Humans are not rational creatures. Now, logic and rationality are very helpful tools, but there’s also a place for embracing our subjectivity and thinking symbolically. Sometimes what our so-called higher thinking can’t or won’t see, our older, more primitive intuition will." John Beckett

                        Pagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
                        sigpic

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Causing Nightmares?

                          Oh, no he does not have PTSD, he went through basic but decided to come home after realizing it wasn't for him. I've had a personal friend of ours suggest, since he was of the Greek pantheon, that it may be the Fates trying to warn him of something, and he seemed more open too that idea than anything I've suggest of what his dream could mean. He keeps over thinking, because he's a big logical thinker, and I think that's what's making his nightmares worse sometimes.

                          I may be wrong, but he thinks the dreams has something to do with me being hurt or something.

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