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    Lost again.

    Hey friends,

    So I feel back to square one with my spirituality again. Perhaps I try to hard, or expect to much. All I know is that I have experienced that feeling of being in the presence of something sacred, and Im my attempt to understand it I have seperated myself completely. Now I'm lost.

    #2
    Re: Lost again.

    Maybe you could list out some specifics? I can't guarantee I have any insight, but that may help. I might venture to say to not try too hard, or over-think (says the King of Over-thinkers ). I say that from experience.
    śivāya vishnu rūpaya śivaḥ rūpaya vishnave
    śivasya hridayam viṣṇur viṣṇoscha hridayam śivaḥ

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      #3
      Re: Lost again.

      I have posted quite a bit in the past about my path, but I'll make a brief desription. I spent my formative years in a devout Catholic family, it was positive and as a Catholic I've had a lot of wonderful moments. Sometime about five years ago I could not longer ignore a different call in my heart to seek the sacred within Nature and It was amazing, I spent the first year blindly stumbling through what felt like a new world. It wasn't until I decided I needed to back up how I felt with serious research and reflection. It was then I began to drift away from my fulfilled spirituality and drift to the comfort of my past among Aquinas, Augustine and the likes. Since then however despite my unrelenting effort to restore the sacred with in me, find my way I have failed. Everything feels like a compromise.

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        #4
        Re: Lost again.

        It's hard to break away from what is familiar and was at one time comfortable. I would hazard a guess that it's that not letting you explore or open up to other possibilities. However, I don't think there is an incompatibility in being Catholic (or Christian of any denomination) and revering nature. In Christianity God is always separated from creation and nature. Though I am no longer Christian (and maybe this is why), I don't think that's a good view. God is all and in all. Just some observations.
        śivāya vishnu rūpaya śivaḥ rūpaya vishnave
        śivasya hridayam viṣṇur viṣṇoscha hridayam śivaḥ

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Lost again.

          I do agree with you and I often kick myself for not being able to "bridge the gap". The best way I can put it is that my spiritual and scholarly minds are at odds. What is old and familiar seems right but feels wrong, sometimes empty, all the while to human experience of my paganism has felt absolutely right and fulfilling.

          That lack of harmony leaves me lost.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Lost again.

            I think I know how you feel. Personally I tend to overanalyze things which to me has the same effect as trying too hard. A lot of times my scholarly and logical self stand in the way of my emotional and spiritual self. Something will make me feel a certain way and I try so hard to understand why/how/what is happening (or not happening, for that matter) that the feeling is lost. The feeling part gets obscured by the thinking part and all I manage to do is get frustrated.

            What helps for me when I start to feel that way is to try really hard to stop thinking and just go with the flow because, eventually, I'll get there anyway. Pushing harder isn't going to make things move faster... is what I try to tell myself.
            Sometimes I think to myself that maybe I'm not supposed to understand? Maybe my logic is flawed and my paltry human brain isn't ready for (or equipped to deal with) this information yet. Yeah, I feel lost right now, but sooner or later that last piece is going to fall into place and I'll be able to see the whole picture. Until then I just try my hardest to work with what I already have.
            Well, that's kindof how I try to deal, anyway. I hope it makes sense.

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Lost again.

              I see what you are saying about bridging the gap. I have a couple of boxes full of books on all kinds of eastern philosophy, from Hinduism and different paths of yoga, to different sects of Buddhism, to Taoism. I like books, but I realized that I was never going to read those because they killed any feeling I had. I have even more I may put away because I will probably never read them... the Mahabharata, the Ramayana, the Upanishads and Bhagavad Gita, the Lotus Sutra... the list goes on. The "scholarly" side of me (and more than a little of the ocpd in me) made me collect them. Of the few books I now have on Norse mythology, I have only one that is quite thick and scholarly. The others are stories that are just plain fun to read, and help make a deeper connection to my faith.

              What I'm getting at is that is it indeed hard to either combine or separate them. I daresay that most practitioners, dedicants, followers or devotees of any particular faith put their feelings above what the books say. That makes it a lot easier. Of course I'm speaking from personal experience only.
              śivāya vishnu rūpaya śivaḥ rūpaya vishnave
              śivasya hridayam viṣṇur viṣṇoscha hridayam śivaḥ

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Lost again.

                I think you should ask yourself "What are you looking for out of your religious experience?"
                Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
                sigpic

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                  #9
                  Re: Lost again.

                  Originally posted by Odahviing View Post
                  I think I know how you feel. Personally I tend to overanalyze things which to me has the same effect as trying too hard. A lot of times my scholarly and logical self stand in the way of my emotional and spiritual self. Something will make me feel a certain way and I try so hard to understand why/how/what is happening (or not happening, for that matter) that the feeling is lost. The feeling part gets obscured by the thinking part and all I manage to do is get frustrated.

                  What helps for me when I start to feel that way is to try really hard to stop thinking and just go with the flow because, eventually, I'll get there anyway. Pushing harder isn't going to make things move faster... is what I try to tell myself.
                  Sometimes I think to myself that maybe I'm not supposed to understand? Maybe my logic is flawed and my paltry human brain isn't ready for (or equipped to deal with) this information yet. Yeah, I feel lost right now, but sooner or later that last piece is going to fall into place and I'll be able to see the whole picture. Until then I just try my hardest to work with what I already have.
                  Well, that's kindof how I try to deal, anyway. I hope it makes sense.
                  Beautifully said, and clearly, from my post above I agree.
                  śivāya vishnu rūpaya śivaḥ rūpaya vishnave
                  śivasya hridayam viṣṇur viṣṇoscha hridayam śivaḥ

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Lost again.

                    I agree that there's no hard rule that Christianity and the natural world are mutually exclusive. And I understand that frustration with trying to make both world views fit together. The only real advice I have is to keep reading what you will and to give yourself time, eventually those links will start to be made in your mind and it will begin to come together.

                    Weird personal tidbit, it has actually been a lot of the specifically-focused scientific textbooks (immunology, cellular biology, human physiology, etc...) that started to open my eyes to the world around me and to how it interlaced with my spiritual beliefs. I try not to limit my readings to any genre in particular anymore, since I tend to find relevant things almost everywhere.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Lost again.

                      Originally posted by Ljubezen View Post
                      I agree that there's no hard rule that Christianity and the natural world are mutually exclusive. And I understand that frustration with trying to make both world views fit together. The only real advice I have is to keep reading what you will and to give yourself time, eventually those links will start to be made in your mind and it will begin to come together.

                      Weird personal tidbit, it has actually been a lot of the specifically-focused scientific textbooks (immunology, cellular biology, human physiology, etc...) that started to open my eyes to the world around me and to how it interlaced with my spiritual beliefs. I try not to limit my readings to any genre in particular anymore, since I tend to find relevant things almost everywhere.

                      If you'd pm me some recommendations I'd be forever grateful.

                      - - - Updated - - -

                      Originally posted by Odahviing View Post
                      I think I know how you feel. Personally I tend to overanalyze things which to me has the same effect as trying too hard. A lot of times my scholarly and logical self stand in the way of my emotional and spiritual self. Something will make me feel a certain way and I try so hard to understand why/how/what is happening (or not happening, for that matter) that the feeling is lost. The feeling part gets obscured by the thinking part and all I manage to do is get frustrated.

                      What helps for me when I start to feel that way is to try really hard to stop thinking and just go with the flow because, eventually, I'll get there anyway. Pushing harder isn't going to make things move faster... is what I try to tell myself.
                      Sometimes I think to myself that maybe I'm not supposed to understand? Maybe my logic is flawed and my paltry human brain isn't ready for (or equipped to deal with) this information yet. Yeah, I feel lost right now, but sooner or later that last piece is going to fall into place and I'll be able to see the whole picture. Until then I just try my hardest to work with what I already have.
                      Well, that's kindof how I try to deal, anyway. I hope it makes sense.
                      Thanks, it makes perfect sense.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Lost again.

                        Originally posted by Ljubezen View Post
                        Weird personal tidbit, it has actually been a lot of the specifically-focused scientific textbooks (immunology, cellular biology, human physiology, etc...) that started to open my eyes to the world around me and to how it interlaced with my spiritual beliefs. I try not to limit my readings to any genre in particular anymore, since I tend to find relevant things almost everywhere.
                        I can totally second this...

                        My degree is in biology and I work as a scientist. My understanding of science has made me more spiritual (though less dogmatic), not less.

                        But that didn't happen til I let go of the idea that things had to fit together "just so", like the pieces of a puzzle or something...or to balance...or for there to be harmony between things.
                        Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
                        sigpic

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Lost again.

                          Sometimes we don't even have to know what it is that we're hoping to find.Sometimes we just keep trudging along, trusting that somehow, somewhere, it will all come together again. I think of it as being a bit like doing paintings... I always found at a certain point I just panicked. Nothing was going right and everything was a mess. There was a time when I'd scrap the lot, and then go and sit in a corner and cry, bewailing the huge gap between what I wanted to do and what I could do. And then one day, I just kept on going. Right past the usual stage with its tears and ruined dreams... on and on and on... and I finished the painting.

                          And I also learned something very important. That something is happening even when we don't realise it. Sometimes, all we have to do is keep going.
                          www.thewolfenhowlepress.com


                          Phantom Turnips never die.... they just get stewed occasionally....

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                            #14
                            Re: Lost again.

                            Originally posted by Tylluan Penry View Post
                            Sometimes we don't even have to know what it is that we're hoping to find.Sometimes we just keep trudging along, trusting that somehow, somewhere, it will all come together again. I think of it as being a bit like doing paintings... I always found at a certain point I just panicked. Nothing was going right and everything was a mess. There was a time when I'd scrap the lot, and then go and sit in a corner and cry, bewailing the huge gap between what I wanted to do and what I could do. And then one day, I just kept on going. Right past the usual stage with its tears and ruined dreams... on and on and on... and I finished the painting.

                            And I also learned something very important. That something is happening even when we don't realise it. Sometimes, all we have to do is keep going.
                            I agree with this...

                            I think though, too often people who are disappointed by their religious experiences have an expectation that they don't realize until they think about what they want out of their spiritual and religious journey. And once they know what they are hoping to get from it, they can learn to let it go and just see what happens.
                            Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
                            sigpic

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Lost again.

                              Originally posted by thalassa View Post
                              I can totally second this...

                              My degree is in biology and I work as a scientist. My understanding of science has made me more spiritual (though less dogmatic), not less.

                              But that didn't happen til I let go of the idea that things had to fit together "just so", like the pieces of a puzzle or something...or to balance...or for there to be harmony between things.
                              I'm glad to know I'm not the only one whose mind works this way.

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