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  • Wedding woes.

    A couple of months one of my best friends and I had a huge falling out. Being each others friend we knew what hurt the most and neither of us held back.

    Well her boyfriend proposed to her and he asked my husband to be his best man. My husband and daughter are invited to the wedding but I am not. My husband doesn't want to let his best friend down but doesn't want to go without me. We also don't know if "we" send a gift or just him and little Wenny.

    What should we do?

  • #2
    Re: Wedding woes.

    Must have been quite a falling out to keep you apart. It depends on how you feel about it... to me, there's no doubt your husband should go if his friend needs him there. Their friendship shouldn't suffer because their wives don't get along. If you're mad at her for whatever happened and don't want your name on the gift, don't... if you want to give them a gift, do. Be the one to reach out by showing you still care.
    You remind me of the babe
    What babe?
    The babe with the power
    What power?
    The Power of voodoo
    Who do?
    You do!
    Do what?
    Remind me of the babe!

    Army of Darkness: Guardians of the Chat

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    • #3
      Re: Wedding woes.

      Hi Wenny, as a couple it is only natural you want to attend these kind of events together.. But you need to remember that emotions tend to run high around weddings and causing added friction now may be further lasting damage to your friendship.

      Give your 'friend' some space and let your man give support to his friend. And sure, pop your name on the gift, or maybe sign it off as being "from both of us" / "from the three of us" / "from the family" so not to draw attention to you specifically. if you were close friends before I'm assuming that deep down you both want to fix the void between you.. So this is a nice subtle reminder that you are thinking of your friend... It's like a "no pressure" step in the right direction.

      Plus.. Life's too short to stay angry/hold a grudge.

      Hope this helps x

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      • #4
        Re: Wedding woes.

        Sorry, but this is the most rediculously pathetic and Bridezilla thing to do. I don't care whose "fault" the fight is, you don't invite half a family unit to a wedding. Especially when there's a kid involved and a member of the wedding party. Pouting by a grown woman is spiteful.

        Let him go, but depending on the age of your kiddo, keep her at home...he can't watch her if he's *in* the wedding. Sign the gift because at least one of you can be a grown-up.


        TBH, I feel sorry for the hubby-to-be...your hubby absolutely needs to be there so he knows someone has his back if it all goes horribly wrong... Someone that holds this much of a grudge would (IMO) be a terrible person to marry.
        Last edited by thalassa; 09 Sep 2015, 03:33.
        “You have never answered but you did not need to. If I stand at the ocean I can hear you with your thousand voices. Sometimes you shout, hilarious laughter that taunts all questions. Other nights you are silent as death, a mirror in which the stars show themselves. Then I think you want to tell me something, but you never do. Of course I know I have written letters to no-one. But what if I find a trident tomorrow?" ~~Letters to Poseidon, Cees Nooteboom

        “We still carry this primal relationship to the Earth within our consciousness, even if we have long forgotten it. It is a primal recognition of the wonder, beauty, and divine nature of the Earth. It is a felt reverence for all that exists. Once we bring this foundational quality into our consciousness, we will be able to respond to our present man-made crisis from a place of balance, in which our actions will be grounded in an attitude of respect for all of life. This is the nature of real sustainability.”
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        • #5
          Re: Wedding woes.

          Why you husband and daughter are invited to the wedding but you not? you need to know the reason and try to fix it.

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          • #6
            Re: Wedding woes.

            If my wife was excluded to a wedding and I was called on to be the best man, I would show the respect for my "friend" and my wife by stating that If it was important for me to be there then my wife would be with me. That puts the decision back in his court.
            It is disrespectful to the wife if I accept the terms as given. I would never disrespect my wife.
            The Dragon sees infinity and those it touches are forced to feel the reality of it.
            I am his student and his partner. He is my guide and an ominous friend.

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