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    Whats too young?

    My second cousin posted an article about being charged with neglect if you leave a child by themselves under the age of 14. As seen here: https://www.illinoispolicy.org/leave...-illinois-law/

    Texas is one of these states where a child cannot be left home alone under the age of 12. However there where times growing up where my Dad didn't have a choice but to leave us home for a few hours every now and then. As a single parent with an ex-wife who couldn't pay her child-support my Dad couldn't always afford a babysitter. However when those times arose we were given strict rules to follow and always had at least two emergency plans.

    Unfortunately I seem to be the only one (well that commented anyway) that believes if properly prepared and given rules and emergency plans a child can stay home by themselves for an hour or two. If fact it is believed that the world is soooo much more dangerous then it was 10 to even 20 years ago. And apparently a child of 20 years ago could over take an intruder but a child of today could not and would be overcame and stolen away.

    For you parents out there. Do you agree that a child under the age of 14 should not be left alone or do you believe differently?
    "If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -- Sirius Black

    "Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so."-- Ford Prefect

    #2
    Re: Whats too young?

    Lol, we have an entire thread on this somewhere...

    I leave my kids alone for up to an hour or two at home AND I let them play outside
    by their self...Virginia doesn't have any home alone laws.

    And the IL law is ridiculous--when I lived there, thank goodness it wasn't a law. I had a great time staying home after school and in the summer at 10.
    Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
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      #3
      Re: Whats too young?

      I didn't know there were state laws about this... the more I learn. ^^

      I was staying home alone for several hours starting at age 9, my sister started around that age too (although we lived 2 blocks from our school and she was always at home while I was there, so she wasn't actually alone alone).

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        #4
        Re: Whats too young?

        Depends on the kid and the length of time alone. I generally think if a 10 year old can't be trusted to stay out of trouble for several hours then either

        1) there's a problem in the area requiring extra caution

        Or

        2) someone has been failing the kid

        Under 10, I become more wary but there's still a decent amount of leeway depending on circumstances
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          #5
          Re: Whats too young?

          I should probably elaborate that our neighbor worked from home, our previous daycare was around the block, and my parents were always available to answer phone calls whenever they weren't at home. Circumstances, definitely.

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            #6
            Re: Whats too young?

            It's not only about intruders, etc., but the kid themselves - getting a bright idea to cook something or do laundry with a full bottle of soap, etc.
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              #7
              Re: Whats too young?

              Originally posted by Hawkfeathers View Post
              It's not only about intruders, etc., but the kid themselves - getting a bright idea to cook something or do laundry with a full bottle of soap, etc.

              or, teach them how to cook and do laundry...

              Phee doesn't touch laundry (I apparently need to get on that, I was doing all the laundry at that age), but she can operate the microwave and make pancakes, french toast, scrambled eggs, and a few other things.
              Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
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                #8
                Re: Whats too young?

                Age isn't the only factor. There is also the intelligence and confidence of the child. The area. The time of day.
                In Los Angeles? Well a little girl of 3 I believe was picked up off the street of her house. Taken for a ride. Returned to the street.

                The news says she was 'injured'. It wasn't good.

                Then again if you live on a nice street in a nice town and you know your neighbors, you can get by. Our street is a culdesac, so it's pretty dead. We know all the neighbors. Kids play out in the quiet street and ride bikes and skateboards back and forth. No big deal.
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                  #9
                  Re: Whats too young?

                  Little story about where I grew up. I grew up in the projects. Young guy drives in and parks,and is surrounded by about 30 people,until he explains he is here to see "Make up a girls name",people check that she is expecting the guy..things calm down when she comes and meets the guy...very protective neighborhood..
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                    #10
                    Re: Whats too young?

                    Every family is different as is every child. I grew up in a single parent household. My dad raised my brother and I. He remarried when I was 15. My mother was laid off from almost every job she ever had so child support was an uncommon item. He raided us to be smart and safe. We locked the doors when we got home and didn't go outside till he was there. Though we could have as we had plenty of neighbors to watch us. We also knew his work number and how to dial 911. We also had escape plans and so forth.

                    I honestly donot understand why you can't teach children of today this same exact thing. I also know that it depends on the child and the neighborhood but I think giving a child some freedom is good for them.

                    - - - Updated - - -

                    Also please forgive my typos as I really do hate auto correct on my phone...
                    "If you want to know what a man is like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -- Sirius Black

                    "Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so."-- Ford Prefect

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                      #11
                      Re: Whats too young?

                      My Brother and I both grew up as 'Latchkey kids' as both parents had to work.

                      I had to walk the couple of miles to school every morning from the age of 6 sometimes with my Bro sometimes alone.
                      This was only a few miles away from Saddleworth Moor of Brady and Hindley fame and only 7 years after those sad events.

                      The Moors around our village were also our playground during weekends and holidays.

                      I dont think the world has got any worse or any better, Its just that we are all far more informed these days.

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                        #12
                        Re: Whats too young?

                        I think a lot of it depends on the child. There can be a large disparity in maturity levels in that age group from 4-10 or so. I generally don't have a problem with states putting the minimum age at 6-8 years old for short periods of time, and 10-12 for longer periods (say, more than 4 hours). Yes, I have known some 4-5 year olds capable of staying home alone for a couple hours, but they are few and far between. Same for younger kids staying home for many hours on their own. It just doesn't happen often enough for that to be the general rule, IMO.

                        Similar thread: http://www.paganforum.com/showthread...ange+parenting
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                          #13
                          Re: Whats too young?

                          Like others have said it largely depends on the circumstances regarding the neighbourhood, and also how the child was raised, and the maturity and intelligence of said child. I would probably, if made to put in place an arbitrary number, say ten-years or older should not have significant issues being left home alone for long periods of time. That being said, I do know of some children ten-years or older which I still wouldn't trust to be left alone for even short periods of time, so it really does depend on the individual child.

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                            #14
                            Re: Whats too young?

                            Everyone who has read the free range parenting thread knows how I feel about this, but I'll say it again.

                            If 14, or even 12 are the guidelines, then pretty much all of northern Europe would be charged with neglect. On top of that, my parents would have been, and all of my friends' parents would have been when we were growing up in Canada (and from the sounds of it, the US too). From what my mom and friends have told me, things have changed in Canada, but they haven't changed in Europe.

                            In Berlin, where I live, there is a popular playground where only kids are allowed (strictly no parents allowed policy). They hammers, nails, and power tools, because it's an outdoor "treehouse" playground where kids can build stuff. Yes, those are dangerous, but it's left up to the older kids to look out for the younger kids. In my neighbourhood, there are trampolines built into the ground of one of the playgrounds. People love them. Kids are allowed to take the subway by themselves at around 8 or so (from the looks of it). Kids can be on their own for an hour or two at that age as well and for whole evenings when they're a little older. Heck, I've seen kids alone on the streets in the evening (I'm POSITIVE their parents were nearby, but no one thought they needed direct supervision).

                            Berlin is a city of 3.5 million people, and it's fairly densely populated. People do not know all of their neighbours a lot of the time and they definitely do not know everyone in neighbouring buildings, parks, and subway lines. I live in the city centre, and most of the stuff I just talked about is stuff I've witnessed around my neighbourhood or nearby. It's just a different mentality here. People think kids should have freedom and learn to be independent. On top of that, there just isn't the same culture of fear that I see in North America (i see it in Canada where I grew up as well....things have changed). I'm sure bad things occasionally happen here, but people see them as unfortunate accidents or events. Statistically, they don't happen all that often. Crime is down and things like kidnapping are down compared to the past. People don't tend to lock their doors much and I think it's just that kind of place. But Berlin isn't an outlier in that regard. I don't think it's much different in places like Amsterdam or Stockholm.

                            Parents are not totally haphazard...they usually have cell phones and parents ease them into it gradually. But yeah. I think people also feel that if something were to happen, someone would probably say something. I think they're right about that as well. Because people let their kids do their own thing, it's totally socially acceptable to nag random strange kids for doing stupid or rude things. The expectation is sort of "it takes a village to raise a child" and if the parents aren't there, you should say something to those kids hanging off the railing (or whatever they're doing). To be honest, on that front, I don't even know what I'd do in Canada, because I've been here for 10 years and nagging random kids is something I totally do.

                            - - - Updated - - -

                            Originally posted by thalassa View Post
                            or, teach them how to cook and do laundry...
                            Yep. I think most Berlin 10 year olds can work a stove or do laundry. Plus, I could at 10!
                            Last edited by DanieMarie; 20 Apr 2015, 13:11.

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                              #15
                              Re: Whats too young?

                              When I was 12 I walked home from school and stayed home on my own for a few hours, that is if I didn't walk to the mall or roam the neighbourhood looking for new playgrounds with friends... I took photography lessons once a week in the evening, about 2 kilometers away, and usually walked home on my own - I did have my phone though. I think me and my friends started playing outside on our own when we were around 7... My parents always taught me to run and scream if I ever felt threathened, and to always notice where there were other people who might help... A man once startled me coming out from behind a bush when I was walking home - I was about 11 - I ran back to the main road and then walked to my school where a teacher walked me home (there was several reports of a man trying to lure kids with candy at the time. Each one of them were smart enough to run and tell their parents)... kids can handle mire than they're given credit for today, they just need to be taught how...
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